If I Fall (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 18

Although she was insecure Drew's consideration was astounding, and it was nice knowing that she cared about me on a deeper level than most. She was selfless, that was obvious, and she understood that maybe meeting up with Ashley would give me the closure I needed to finally start a new and improved relationship.

Which would hopefully be with Drew herself, but we hadn't discusses that yet.

"You're not discouraging me by telling me how it makes you feel, Drew," I stated, looking into those amazing eyes of hers. I wished she could understand that talking about your problems and insecurities was a good thing, and it helped you embrace and overcome them.

"I know it's just," she paused, looking away from me for a split second, "She hurt you but I know she could probably give you more than what I can... and I'm just waiting for you to realize it-"

"Stop," I demanded, cutting off her sentences, "Don't ever think that, okay? It's not true." I moved closer, taking her face in my hands and trying my best to make her see what I saw. I stated, "She's selfish, she only looks out for herself and doesn't give it a second thought. You're not Ashley, you're right, which is why I like you so much. What exactly can she give me that you can't, Drew?"

I felt like I already knew the answer to my own question but I wanted to hear what Drew had to say. Maybe acknowledging it would help.

Her eyes switched away from mine, "She's not... you know... she's not messed up like me. She has history with you, and even if some of it's bad most is still good."

Of course she had to have a point, but to me it didn't matter. I didn't care if Ashley had a lot more history with me compared to Drew, and I didn't care if she had fucked up only once. It was enough to send me over the edge and drive me away for good. I couldn't trust Ashley anymore and a relationship without trust isn't a relationship at all.

But the one thing that bothered me was how Drew had used her emotional damage as a literal excuse as to why Ashely was probably better than her. I hated that she thought just because she couldn't open up to me in the most intimate of ways that it made my ex, who cheated on me for months, better than her.

I shook my head in disbelief, "You think sex is an issue for me?"

She probably hadn't expected me to be so blunt, and I had even shocked myself, but I was in fact dumbfounded. I couldn't believe Drew was that inferior over her situation, and it really saddened me to know that. At the moment she seemed at a loss for words, but I quickly took it as an opportunity to reassure her even more because I knew she needed it, and I didn't mind.

"Drew, listen to me," I demanded, her eyes locking with mine, "Yes, I would love to go further with you, don't get me wrong, but that's not my priority. You may not be ready in that area of a relationship, but you exceed in many other areas too. You're considerate, you're beautiful, and you opened up whenever we both needed it to happen. You're strong and brave for giving me a chance after everyone in your past has hurt you, and I admire that because you could've pushed me away. You're trying for me and that's the most amazing thing about you, and I'm willing to wait until you're ready."