Worship Series

Chapter # 25

I will eventually be deprived of his lull-providing presence, I would lose it when his memories would return.

'I am so vulnerable- watching the person near my heart is slipping through my fingers like sand.' I thought.

"Plus, I have the right as your wife to smile at my husband," I reminded him innocently.

"Rights... I almost forgot that you haven't read our contract but let me remind you."

He chuckled emptily, rolling his eyes before parting his traces from my shadow.

"You have 'no' rights over me."

He growled but I never asked this on the basis of a mere contract.

That was another matter; this bond is only a contract to him.

Right?

"Stop your delusion, Zariah. What exists between us is not a dream, open your eyes. Control your heart because what you seek is a source of endless misery. Don't forget, You married me on your Father's order."

'I didn't. I married you on my free will! Stop leading things to the same damn point!!'

I knew If I said those words, It would ruin our plan and I was still where I started.

"But, what's wrong if I seek a momentary shelter in your presence? I am your wife, am I not allowed to feel protected with you?" I asked in a croaked voice.

"What you want is not a momentary shelter, your whole mindset is weak, unknown and confusing..." Grabbing my arms, he stared into my gaze ruthlessly.

I had made it like this, I agree.

But, amid all this, my feelings, my words, my smiles, my devotion for him was sincere.

"All because of your fucking family, he made you like this. Your thoughts, your feelings... all of them are controlled by him."

He told me the bitter reality without knowing- In his matters, all my feelings were true. He didn't know.

'Would he believe in me if I told him that only HE could make me feel?'

Leaning dangerously closer, he whispered, glistening compassion.

"Please, please, please, Zariah, understand that."

"Why don't you understand, Nathaniel?!"

I couldn't take it anymore, my heart shattered at his negligence towards my devotion.

"I am desperate for you!"

Fuck, fuck, fuck, what did I just say? Father will kill me for straying.

His eyes widened but not in surprise rather... pity. Sighing, he held my shoulders, pulling me extremely closer.

"Fine then."

Exhaling, his grip tightened on my shoulder followed by a dire stare, hitching my breath.

"Give me one reason to hold your hand excluding you are my wife and I swear, Zari, I would burn this world for your sake. Give. Me. One. Reason."

He challenged, drying my throat because if I answered it, I would betray my people.

I had a choice. Him or my command.

And he proved his point. I was a puppet after all because I chose my command.

But, why? I wanted to choose him then why couldn't I?

"See? You are trapped in an abyss, it has consumed your identity, you don't exist. You are nowhere."