Counter Lotus

Chapter 21

Jamie's forehead creased in sympathy. "Listen. I'm sorry for hiding all this, but I didn't have a choice. I didn't want to lie to you."

"I didn't want to be lied to, but obviously obligation comes before respect."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a job, he didn't want to, blah blah blah. I really didn't care! I deserved fucking slack. This was so much to handle and it was now hitting me. Including just how betrayed I felt.

"Peter, where is my car? And my purse?"

"Parked in your driveway, all your shit is in the trunk," he answered dully from his chair.

"Good because that was my last question," I said, getting to my feet and looking between them. "If you guys stand for goodness and humanity in this world, I could not be more disappointed. You must protect me, but you don't want to, you don't even care if you fail. You both have tricked me, lied to me, and manipulated your way into my life just to be around me! Not because you care, because it's your job. Maybe that's why people aren't meant to know about any of this. Because they would be fucking disgusted and disappointed!" Heading for the doors, I scowled to a disinterested Peter. "And for how much you hate Famine, you hypocrites are no better than him!"

"Cool. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Jamie sighed. "Jos, please, just wait."

Storming out of the grand house, I slammed the door behind me. I was so worked up, but it intensified the second I was away and alone now. For how well I took everything... I wasn't any more. Everything I learned – all that I learned at the bar with Famine, on the boat with Peter, and in his home with him and his fucking son – hammered past any numbness and into my head.

The darkening dusk and summer night guided me. Walking towards home, I was breathing hard, hands balled into fists, eyes watering on and off. Trust me guys, I am not a dramatic person, but I fucking deserve some slack. I was so rattled, panicked, frustrated, so done, and so overwhelmed. I've never experienced such an insane 24 hours in my life! I could not believe all that has happened just from last night to now! From the party, the dead demon girl, from waking up in Peter's car, to Famine and the bar in the other plane. To Peter and all the revelations he shared. I could not process it all for how massive these truths and concepts were! The overused word of 'overwhelming' didn't do this justice. This painted life in a light I never expected.

This... changed me. I would never again look around at the world and see the same place it was yesterday. This showed me how vulnerable I truly was. Things I never knew existed were after me, wanted to use me, or kill me. I was so grateful to know and have clarity, but maybe Peter was right.

Maybe this was not worth answers. Maybe I should have taken his annoying advice. Maybe... I should have looked the other way.

When I got home, I wish I could say I maturely let it all sink in. Instead, I got home and cried like a little bitch. Thank god I didn't run into Liz because I just could not help it. My life would never be the same. I learned what most people never will learn. I touched the large feathers of angel wings. They were there, but invisible to my eyes. And the things that were visible, were deceptive. So much of this was an illusion.

Peter and Jamie, they aren't human. Aren't even brothers, but instead father and son. Famine was a dangerous half-demon. That lady in the road was a demon. The girl that tried killing me was a demon. So was what dragged me underwater. It wasn't like I could ignore or choose not to believe it. Those things really happened, and will keep happening. That was the scariest part.

Yet... all the while I'm supposed to just keep living my life. You know, if I don't get killed anyway. How? How was I supposed to act normal? For so many things that were apparently possible, acting normal was not one of them.