Faking Perfection

14|Comfort

Failure. It's all I've ever known. I've put up this facade of perfection for so long to the point where I don't even know what failure is. Until today when I failed my test. Until four days ago when I royally screwed up by fucking Zane right before I went to visit Mason.

God, what was I thinking?

"You're right," I admit. "And I'd like to have another one of those sleepovers soon. You know, if you want."

Her face instantly brightens. "I'd love that."

"I seriously owe you one. This conversation was much needed. I've been in my head the entire fucking day and needed to vent."

Her lips form a thin line, another smile falling onto her face, but this one is saying, pretty pretty please?

"What?" I ask.

"Well, if it's not too soon to claim that favor, I need your help with something." She twirls the end of her ponytail around and around. Her nervous habit. "Ryan Hamilton is throwing a party this weekend because his parents are out on some retreat. He invited me, and I want to go, but...not alone, and certainly not with Willow. She'll embarrass the hell out of me."

"Ryan asked you?" I ask, becoming excited. She's had a crush on the lanky computer geek for years. "Christy, this is huge!"

"I know, but I'm not good in big social settings like that. I need you there for support. You're so good at being the life of the party. I know your Dad comes into town next weekend, and I know you don't like partying anymore, but can you please come with me tonight? Let's call it a last hoorah before you say goodbye to your bad girl ways."

Rolling my eyes, I let out a laugh and squeeze her hand, which is still clutching onto mine. "You don't have to convince me, Christy. To finally see you get laid? I'll do whatever it takes."

***

After cheer practice, I went over to Christy's house and made her into a hotter version of herself, per her request. She wanted to capture Ryan's attention tonight, and while I wanted to tell her that she already did have his attention since he invited her himself, I've selfishly wanted to do Christy's makeup for a very long time now. I wasn't going to pass the opportunity up.

I made sure not to make her look too dramatic. It was a soft glam with a little bit of lip gloss, but I was still extremely proud of my work. She looks gorgeous in a pair of tight jeans and a flowy pink blouse even though I had tried to persuade her to wear a dress, but when we arrived at the so-called party, I'm glad she went with the jeans.

This was so not a party I was accustomed to. The party thrown by the computer geeks was more of a small gathering than anything. There was a bonfire I could see out back with about ten people around it and a video game match inside with another ten people. I'm thankful I didn't dress up, not wanting to out-dress Christy—this was her night, after all—so all I'm wearing is a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie courtesy of the boy I haven't spoken to outside of the library in four days.

Almost like comfort, I inhale the scent of him from the sleeve, my heart aching the way it has for days now. It's a foreign feeling to me, longing for someone like this, but I'm going to take Christy's advice and try. I just have to figure out how to start trying.

"I don't see him," Christy says, scanning the group of boys playing video games. A familiar head of hair comes into view, a beer settled in his hand, and I'm so shocked that all I can do is stand here, my feet frozen to the ground.

"What are you—" Her eyes land on my brother, Everett, who is seated next to his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend, Emery. He's in the middle of them like he's purposefully trying to put space between the two lovebirds.