Meant For You

sixteen.

"Having fun?" Nola asks, an amused smile on her lips. I nod, tucking my hands into the front pockets of my slacks. "Lots." She looks me up and down again. "I can tell, hockey boy," she teases. I roll my eyes at the ludicrous nickname. "How've you been? Have a nice Christmas?" I ask. She smiles, "Oh yeah, Christmas at my house is always...something. How about you?"

Christmas at my house is smaller than hers I presume. It's only my mom, dad, aunt, uncle, and two cousins. The rest of my family lives back in Vancouver and since I'm playing hockey all the time, I can't just go to Canada for two days and then come back to the States. Especially not during the holidays. Still, I enjoy every second of it. This year we added JT to the mix since he couldn't go back home either. It was his first Christmas away from his family so we made sure to make the most of it for him.

This year, I felt extremely grateful for everything I had. It has been one of those self-reflecting years for me and while my life wasn't exactly perfect, I was thriving. But as much as I hate to admit it, something gnawed at me. It isn't the first time the thought of my birth parents lingered in my head. It is the first time it's happened during Christmas which made it even worse.

I had been so good at trying to forget about finding them but something that day flared up inside of me and got me thinking. Those thoughts have been eating me up for a couple of days now and it's one of the reasons I wanted to drink tonight. I wanted to forget I ever fucking started thinking about them again. The part of me that was dying to know who they are has died. At least that's what I thought.

"Miles? You want some water?" Nola chuckles, catching my arm when I stumble back a bit. I look down at her hand which wraps around my forearm, her touch lighting up something inside of me. Realizing I might be thinking with my dick, I pull away from her touch gently. I step back and shake my head, trying to regain as much composure as possible. "I'm fine."

Her electric blue eyes study mine in a way I can't even distinguish right now. She looks up at me still not reaching my height with heels. I feel my eyes glossy so I rub them. It's also an excuse to stop her eyes from burning into my soul. "You should get back to your friends. I was on my way to the gentleman's room," I say stupidly. She makes a face, trying to hold back a laugh.

Nola looks back to where her friends sit at the bar and then at me. I see a different emotion flash through her eyes for a second before she nods. "Yeah, uh, I'll see you around. Happy New Year's Eve." She smiles small and doesn't allow me to answer back. I make sure she reaches her crew before I continue my journey to the restroom.

When I come back to the boys, I decide that the fluid that just left my body was enough to sober me up a good bit. It might have been stupid to believe that piss did anything but still, I ordered three rounds of shots for us and another two beers. By the time those were gone, the new year was approaching, and for some reason, so was my anxiety.

It hit me like a shot of espresso in the morning.

The bar was full.
People were counting down the minutes of the new year.
My brain was telling me a whole bunch of things.
Then there was her.

Across the bar, leaning back on some handsome dude who had a protective arm wrapped around her waist. The moment she returned to her friends after we talked earlier, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she was there. A couple of feet away from me. Stupidly, I wanted to talk to her again. It was like an itch I couldn't scratch. I didn't understand it.

A month ago, I dreaded conversations with that girl.
Now? I just wanted another one.

Since JT and I had arrived together, I looked around for him as the clock was two minutes from approaching midnight. I needed to get the fuck out of here. My eyes searched the section where we had been all night but the kid wasn't visible to me. "Kelz, have you seen JT?" I ask one of my teammates. He shakes his head, "No. Haven't seen him in a while actually." Fuck. Where did he go? Pulling out my phone, I shoot him a quick text.