Midnight Memories

Chapter 21

"I don't know either."  She shakes her head. " I just–I can't remember? Eren.. why can't I remember? "

Eren looks at her, his hand gently caressed her hand as she ask herself why she cannot remember. Eren tell her that it's ok but she doesn't feel ok at all, she can't feel ok when she can't even remember.

" Mikasa, the important thing is you are right here." She stared into his eyes, the forest green she knew and she finally calm herself. It's not the shadow this time, it's just Eren. Her Eren. Her arms slowly wrapped around his bag, she pulled him closer to her. " I missed you. "

His hands slowly wrapped around her too-hesiyant at first but when she squeezed him harder, he finally wrapped his arms around her. " I missed you too. "

" I'm sorry for leaving you.. " He didn't know for what but he could sense the pain in her voice. " I'm sorry for not being there.. I'm sorry because you are suffering now. "

Eren look at her in confusion, his arms that is wrapped around her back earlier are now wrapped around her shoulders, gently, he separated the two of them.

" I'm not suffering."

"No," Mikasa mumbled before looking up at him, tears started forming on her eyes. " I know Eren for five hundred of years, you are in pain because I am not herw beside you."

" Don't blame yourself please. "

" Why shouldn't I?! " Tears form in her eyes once again, her heart chencing in pain. " I'm the sole reason why that thing lives inside your body. He's right there isn't he? I am sure he is listening to us right now  If I didn't die back then, if only I was able to catch that arrow and not pierce me in the heart then this wouldn't happen. Maybe the blood tree wouldn't be dying right now, maybe all this problem wouldn't occur and maybe no vampire will die by drinking human blood. "

" It is not your fault. " He says once again, much more firm this time. " It's their fault for taking advantage of if, if the vampires do cease to exist it will never be your fault. " But instead of it being able to comfort her, she felt even more terrible. That's right the blood tree will cease to exist and once that happen vampires will cease to exist. Mikasa look at the blood tree, a deep sigh escaped her lips once again.

" It's not.. but as their queen, the fact that I can't do anything is just–"

Eren stops her by hugging her.

" Please stop it now, it will make me sad too. "

                       _____

Never had she thought that her life would end up like this, never had she thought that she'll be trying to find herself and ask questions that has no difinite answers. Mikasa tried to calm herself down, ignoring the weights that is being pushed on her shoulders.

"This won't work." She tells him honestly, looking at his confused expression. " This can't possibly work Eren, the blood tree has no hope."

"How do we save them then?" He ask, still confused but Mikasa couldn't give an answer to his question because she does not know either.

"Has the Mother Queen say anything?" She shifted the question and Eren shook his head.

" No, mother does not know what to do either. Mother is devastated when she found out."

Earlier, they had decided to tell the Mother Queen about the deal that Eren had with the Shadow being. The deal is foolish but Eren is grieving at that time and he didn't care if it is foolish, when the Queen found out about the deal, she became furious- she refused to meet her son. The deal goes like this, Eren would give his life to the shadow and the Shadow would bring Mikasa back but it never happened and he just lives with the Shadow, ever so slowly consuming him.