Texting 44: Can't Have Shit In Paradis

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(F/N): Surprise

Armin: That's not a-

Levi: Excellent choice

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(F/N): Why are there so many scratches around your phone charger port?

Eren: cause it's dark in the basmen-

Connie: Oh my god he's an alcoholic

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Jean: Your a-

(F/N): *you're

Jean: Ah thanks

Jean: You're a bitch

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Connie: you come here often?

(F/N): we live together

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War Hammer Titan *exists*

Eren: Ohh, don't mind if I do

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Reiner: How many girls like you?

(F/N): none

Literally God himself: cap

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Eren: Okay. She's a 10 but she wears a ridiculous amount of make up

(F/N): Nah that ain't for me

Connie: My turn! My turn!

Connie: She's a 10 but she turns 11 tomorrow

Eren:... bros a little confused

(F/N): bro belongs in jail

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Jean: You're going to ignore all the signs the girls like you, aren't you?

(F/N): This is the way

Jean: but WHY!?

(F/N): I have spoken

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Levi: I'd love to get a taste of whoever made you

Eren: eh. He could have done with some salt

Smiling titan: I concur

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(F/N): Well...

(F/N): Christa

(F/N): if that really is your name

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Eren: How did you afford a PS5!?

(F/N): Our common life expectancy is like less than 20

(F/N): so I was like, what the heck? Who needs a savings account

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Levi: What are you doing?

(F/N): If you don't mind, I'll be asking the questions

Levi: I do mind

(F/N): I apologise

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(F/N): No one's home rn

Historia: I'm on my way!

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Historia: Hey. I'm here. Let me in

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