From the perfect start

Chapter 36- Reading you

"And what you should be interested in is why I read your essay and how I know about it and how I even got it."

"No, not really. You stole it. It isn't published yet, so nobody has read it yet. Should I call you a little thief, Kaden?" I pouted at him, looking up with a playful innocence.

"No, no no... you gave it to me. Yesterday. Don't you remember? You sent it to me."

"I didn't."

"Are you sure?" His teasing tone gives away what I know but this confidence... he could say anything and he would bring it across believable.

"100 percent."

"Mmm. I must be wrong, then. The number of cyber attacks has increased dramatically in the last decade, and the authorities are unable to keep up. There is a chance the university's database was hacked and boom: Your essay is all over the spectrum. For everyone to read."

I am quiet for a moment, taking out my phone and checking the time. They should have been here 15 minutes ago.

"Could you learn something? It must have shocked you to read such sophisticated words, describing this complex, often subjectively perceived topic."

"Yes, I did. About you...
My words are not the only ones who can.... oh, what were the words?... "read people." I don't have a diagnosis as I am not a professional and I am sure even though you occasionally lie to your therapist, she knows your disorders. I am here to tell you how angry you were when you wrote that text..." He leans his arms on the couch, crossing one leg over the other. He taps his index finger against the smooth leather as he wears a sheepish but determined expression on his face.

"I am impressed, sweetheart. You know exactly one thing about me, which is one of the most common emotions everyone experiences in his life on a daily basis. Anger. You got it all figured out. Are you a little genius?"

I step forward, teasing him with my slow steps. Kaden is not shy, looking over my hips as they swing with my movements.

I am not blessed with-no I will correct myself. I just don't have many curves, just enough to look feminine. But you cannot be blessed, or not be privileged with physical features that are only here to feed into society's toxic standards.

You have them, or you don't. What I wasn't fortunate with were healthy limbs, painless walking. Even if I were close to those standards, they would die with time anyway. In that case, I would mourn the loss of something that isn't worth mourning. I have to admit, there are some parts of my body that are really close to what is often perceived as perfect and some are just not.

I often wish I looked like them. Walk talk, act like them.

But as I have realized there are often only two reasons why you hate how your exterior is seen.

1.) Other women. Projecting their insecurities onto you.

It's just jealousy, I promise.

2.) Men, doing the same because they know they are beneath you and even if it's a pretty boy insulting you. I promise you, he says those things because you have something he wants. He may be regaining his pride as a result of your rejection.
It's possible that you have more friends than him. It's possible that you have better grades and are more friendly. Have a good family. It's always something you might never expect in a thousand years.

But why would you hold back loving you only for those people. I mean, they are just... people.

Human beings.

You are still young and fear that nobody will love you because of those reasons, but they want to be you. Are you in a situation where you desperately want a man's reassurance?