One
i wonder
how you told me that you missed me when i was gone
but now that i have returned, i feel like i'm on the back burner?
when i asked if you would stop adding girls
or stick around and fw me.
you replaced me so quick.
Two
it does
make me sad
the one person i thought would stick it out with me
wont respect me
Three
i'm tired
i'm tired of feeling like i am lying to myself
when i try to make things work and make you stay.
but i realized you have to let things come and go.
let things flow.
Four
I need to move on
from what i thought was okay
letting myself get disrespected
and not locking myself first
Five
I can't believe how much i let myself get disrespected
my heart feels heavy
i know what we have isnt right
you say it feels right but also feels so wrong
lust?
Six
you tell me dont kiss too high
dont leave a mark
but then you get another mark from someone else.
what's with that?
Seven
how
how can you fuck multiple people at once.
how could you be with someone before me and fuck them
then see me 12 hours later.
disrespect.
Eight
I try
I try not to text you
especially when something reminds me of you
songs, memes, quotes
all of that is gone now
but you still text me when youre bored
i used to give in
but i gotta do better for myself.
bye
Nine
we've been on the same shit for 5 years now
i'm your last resort i feel
but youre my first
why did i let this go on for so long?
Ten
I'm glad i didnt give into you tonight
Nearly going out of my way to hang with you
Because of course
You only wanted to hang because you wanted something to benefit yourself
Eleven
When will all of this stop being about you?
I realize I'm happier when i'm not around you
I'm not allowing you to disrespect me
I'm not allowing you to test me
im glad i decided to put myself first
Twelve 07/28/23; c.
Today
Today was the day I realized,
That you werent there for me
but i was there for you.
I was there because no one else asks you about your day
I was there because no one would listen to what you had to say
But when you ask about mine
i just say 'it was fine'
Because i know you dont care
From the second i talk about me
Thats when it becomes unfair.
You never cared.
Thirteen 03.28.24
You don't get it, do you?
You don't get that i wanted a relationship with no label.
Being loyal yet keeping it lowkey.
Not too many feelings attached.
But you decided to look at Tinder while I was at your house.
You would have me over and i looked like a clown infront of your family necause who knows how many girls you've invited over?
You know how many times we've been on and off?
Over 6 years now!
I look back at my snapchat memories and see me rant about you.
Three years ago, today.
One year ago, today.
Today.
The fact my cousin even caught you picking up another girl midday was wild to me.
But we weren't talking at that time.
hooked up my Prime to your TV.
I log into Prime 6 months later and i see one of the accounts say "text me bish"
I wonder how long that's been there.
Sooo I message you and ask how long thats been.
"A couple weeks"
Hm. Interesting. Been on your mind since august.
Take care.
Then I see you following my Spotify.
You've never followed me while we were talking.
Wild.
So i ask how long thats been.
"No clue"
Alrighty then.
I just find it funny how you wanted me all these years but you just were scared E V E R Y T I M E .
But it's okay, it's all over now.
YOU ARE READING
letting go
Poetrytrying to let go and heal trying to find myself trying to love myself i'm just trying to get over you - it's over. yet you're still in my mind like a soul tie. cut it.
