The Night Star

Dont jump

No
No, I am not about to jump off of this bridge. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know anymore.
I loved him. I really did.
And no, I am not about to jump off a bridge because of of him... it's my life in general
I'm in college and I'm sure that explains enough

My family has basically forgotten me... didn't tell me that they were moving and just left. I hope my siblings are okay. I miss them, so incredibly much... maybe I'll call them in a few minutes

I can feel the tears starting to well up already
And now they have reached to the middle of my face

I look up into the night sky and just stare at this one bright star and wish upon it. It's cringey, sure but who knows what could happen.

True love. Ever since I was little I was obsessed with the idea of finding my Prince Charming and getting married. Traveling for a few months settling down and having kids. That was my idea of a perfect life and still is and always will be. It just sounds so perfect to me. Having a love that can never get bored. Finding them perfect every single moment, through their rough times and at their best times. Having someone to also talk to and hold and love. And passing it on to little creatures that are the perfect mix of us. I love kids so it wasn't even in question.

And to hug. Always to hug, I am the biggest hugger you will come across. If I could hug for a living I would, even voluntarily. It's weird to some people. But it's so comforting. It feels safe. And I can just let everything out.

Why am I crying on the side of bridge that overlooks the river you may ask... my ex boyfriend. He was just so perfect. But then he just wasn't the same. I investigated being the great detective I am, and found out he was cheating. I should have known. He barely was with me anymore. Mentally and physically.

Not like that you dirty minded fudge nugget munchkin

I am waiting for marriage. I think that should be saved for the one and in the future I find the one, I'll marry him.
But mentally meaning we wasn't there for me anymore. It felt weird to cry in front of him, he would leave the room. I wanted someone would come to my aid and help me up. This kept on happening. He was acting strange barely talked to me anymore, and then suddenly is all perfect like how he was in the beginning.

The girl he was cheating on me with contacted me saying that she didn't know that he was in a relationship and cut off their time together. At least she was a good person. But then I broke up with him. I don't know why I'm sad. The feelings wore off, I should have known them that he wasn't the one. Wasn't the one I was going to marry and have kids with.

Once again it's not exactly the side of the bridge it an area where it overlooks but you wont fall, unless you wanted to. Which I wouldn't. I have the thoughts but I don't act on them. Which I think is good. Maybe from the position I am in it looks like I am about to end it.
Why am I on the side of a bridge when I am thinking like this. Am I about to end it? Am I giving up?

:::

"Don't jump" a calm but panicked voice says from behind me.
A man's voice.

Ooooh a man
Oh what the heck I get nervous around every guy I see, knowing me i'll probably stutter a couple hundred times

"I'm not" I say without looking back. My tears are starting to dry up and tighten my face a little. I probably have tear marks on my face now.
I feel a presence and then he sits next to me
I just hear the wind and his breathing

Welp this is a little awkward

"Whats got you here, I mean it really looks like you're about to jump?"
I look over my shoulder and see a guy that is tall, even when he sits.
The street lamp is on his side so I can't see his face, but he can probably see mine.

Oh crap

I look back towards the river
"You're tall" I blurt out

Why did I say that, I mentally smack myself

I hear a soft but deeper chuckle. Deeper than mine for sure
I smile softly

"How tall are you?" I ask, I mean we are on the topic
"6'3"
"Gosh dang! That's tall" I say with a surprised whisper tone

I hear him chuckle again

"Well how about you, how tall are you?" I hear him say
"Uh... like 5'2 and a half, I'm pretty short." I laugh a little while looking down at my lap.