insomnia | e.jaeger

19 • baji

you watched as your mother's hand glides aggressively across the paper as she wrote. you couldn't make out the words as the writing was sloppy, yet bold. her hand froze, tense. your eyes traveled up her arm to meet her eyes that were already focused on you. she put the pen down, raising her hand to caress your head.

"it's for the best." she mumbled. her hand withdrew as she finished writing before folding the paper and sealing the envelope shut. you hugged the stuff bunny your grandmother had gifted you close to your chest as she turned and reached for something in the back seat.

you recognized it as your school bag stuffed full of what you could assume was clothes and maybe any other necessities you may need. she handed you the backpack, unbuckling your seatbelt before leaning over to open the car door. without a word, you stumbled out of the car, placing the backpack on your shoulders and hugging the stuffed bunny once more.

"take this, ring the doorbell to that house," she points to the house across the street from where she is parked after handing you the letter, "and hand it to the man that answers. you got that?"

you nodded, sniffling as the cold air engulfed you. your mother gave you a smile, as you closed the door. you looked both ways before carefully crossing the street, your small footsteps making the journey seem twice as long. for once in your life, you felt a feeling you had never felt before. with sweaty palms, irregular breathing, wobbly knees, your anxiety peaked as you raised yourself up on tiptoes to press the doorbell. as you awaited for the door to be answered, you turned to steal a glance at your mother who gave you a grin and thumbs up.

the sound of a doorknob twisting caught your attention, causing you to look back as the door swung open. a man answered and looked down at you. you saw the heads of two boys poking out behind him with curious gazes as they eyed you. you said nothing, raising the envelope up to the tall man as you heard the frantic sound of tires screeching behind you. as the man took the envelope, you all looked to see the tail end of your mother's car disappearing the further she went down the street. tears pooled in your eyes as you heard the man mutter, "well i'll be damned."

__________

your leg bounced up and down, uncontrollably as your hands fiddled with one another in your lap. your gaze was fixated on the blurry city life that whizzed by as eren drove to the first destination of the date he had asked you on.

you can still recall the squeal of excitement the girl's let out after mikasa took your phone from frozen state. she quickly typed a reply in agreement for you which snapped you back into reality and a whine escaped your lips.

"most of your hangouts are just the two of you anyways, so just think of this date as another hangout." sasha comforted as she helped you pick out an outfit earlier today.

annie hummed in agreement. "just an addition of a little more get up."

so now you were seated in the passenger seat in silence, only the sound of eren's music playing throughout the vehicle. the two of were dressed casually, but you could tell that there was more of an effort on each of your parts in means to possibly impress one another. sasha insisted you wear a skirt with black tights adorning your legs paired with some black doc martens and an oversized hoodie. she said something to keep you warm, yet still cute.