The Dare to Destroy ~Cashby~

Chapter 16

"He was only doing what he did with me, being the way he was, b-because h-he was dared too by the school b-biggest bully. I-It destoryed me, I was sent a v-video as proof. After everything that h-happened in my life, my u-uncle, my parents, m-my friends turning on me, I swore not to let myself get so close to someone. But he knocked down those walls, and I let him, so easily and then I found out it was all just a lie, s-so he could get dirt on me, f-find out all my little secrets so t-they could ruin me in front of the whole s-school." I wiped the tears off my cheek with my hand before she offered me a tissue which I gladly accepted.

"Oh that's awful, I'm so sorry Alan." She looked at me with sympathy, but it wasn't fake sympathy, it was geniune. "Is that when you tried to take your life?"

"Y-Yeah. I-I blamed him for pushing me that far, I-I guess I still do a little, but I realise now, it was j-just the cherry on top of the icing for me. You know like, I felt he was my final chance to be happy, I-I thought that maybe for once something could go right for me, b-but he just ruined me, t-took the only pieces I had left to give and crushed them like they where nothing." By now my tears where flowing full force, I wondered if she could even understand a word I was saying at this point, between all the sniffs and sobs.

"Perfectly understandable, and it's good that you've realised that he isn't solely to blame for the events that led up to you feeling as if you no longer wished to live. That, believe it or not is progress, so, I'm guessing you want my advice as to how to handle it? As I'm guessing you're going through all the typical brake up drama and you're still hurt, angry and upset?"

"Pretty much." I nodded.

"Okay, well first, have you spoken to him since you found out?"

"W-Well he was there w-when I woke up, h-he was fighting with Shayley. I heard him saying how he never meant for this to h-happen, h-how he-he'd genuinely fallen for me a-and wanted to find a-away to stop R-Ronnie. But I-I was so...hurt, angry, I-I felt so betrayed, I-I couldn't and didn't believe him. He tried t-to explain but I told him to leave and lashed out at him, I-I didn't want to hear more lies, I-I couldn't believe a word he said because...e-even if what he said was true, t-that he had genuinely fallen for me...h-he lied to me, s-so easily at the start, a-and he hid the truth from me f-for so long."

"Perfectly natural, you acted as any other human would in a situation like this, especially given you have under lining trust issues anyway. Okay, does this boy go to your school?"

"Y-yeah, we have m-music and a-art together."

"Has he tried to make contact with you?"

"H-He left me a note in my locker, the first day I was back after...you know...a-and since he's said hi to me, when we've been in class, b-but other then that, no." I shook my head softly. "I-I haven't said hi back, I-I've wanted too, b-but I'm scared that, if I let myself, I-I'll just fall back i-into his trap. I-I miss him so bad, o-one minute I hate him, t-the next I just want to forgive him so things can go back to how t-they where, b-but I can't trust him, a-and what's a relationship without trust?"

"Quite right, sadly, a relationship without trust is doomed to fail no matter how you try. In all honesty, I think you should sit down and talk to him, maybe not right now, but when you feel like you're ready. It honestly sounds like you need some closure here, it was all left so...up in the air, he was upset, you where hurt and angry after being betrayed by the one person you trusted, things may have been said that weren't exactly meant."