Trust [a. irwin]

thirty-two

ok so I'm just going to put in a few cities, it's not all the places she went!!!! I just didn't want to write about every single city she went bc im lazy lmao here's a few

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MIAMI, USA

Our first stop, Miami. The first week, we spent our days at the beach, and our nights at parties.

Parties still aren't really my thing, it was hard to deal with, but I got used to it and I had a great time.

After that week, we spent the next week driving and making stops all through Florida.

We've done a lot of shopping so far, we've already had to send stuff home because it's too much to bring with us. I bought stuff for my dad too, just so he knows I'm still thinking about him.

I don't know how we're going to have more fun anywhere else after these two weeks, but I know we'll try.

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NEW YORK CITY, USA

New York City.

The city that never sleeps, the big apple.

It's all I could've ever expected and more.

When we got here, all I wanted to do was freak out with Britney, but she was listening to a bunch of songs about New York that I don't care about.

I felt like I was in a movie, heading to New York to start my life. I've become so obsessed with this city, that's how it felt.

We went everywhere tourists would go, we were the stereotypical tourists.

Every night we would drive or walk around the city, it's so pretty.

Throughout the weeks here I've been drawing things I've seen, it's been relaxing considering how hard it is to deal with a lot of this.

I've been thinking about Ashton a lot while here in New York. I don't like it at all. I wish it was him here with me. I mean, I love Britney, she's the best. But, Ashton. It would've been amazing, walking around here with Ashton, talking about everything and anything. He'd take pictures of everything and I'd draw everything, this city would've been perfect with him.

But I haven't talked to him in months.

I've tried moving on, I've tried forgetting. But New York brought it all back. We were up at four in the morning one night, talking about my trip, specifically New York. Having him here would've been the greatest thing ever.

I miss him, but I'm trying not to.

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MONTREAL, CANADA

The city of Montreal, it's amazing.

Knowing a little bit of french probably would've helped a lot in this city. I mean, a lot of people here speak English, but everything is French based.

It's been more relaxing here, actually. I've loved it.

Britney and I have spent a lot of time shopping and just going out to eat.

It's been hard, trying to stay calm. I'm in cities I don't know, it's hard not to have anxiety attacks constantly.

That, and Ashton are both things that still get to me everyday.

I've done a lot of drawing though, which helps me get my mind off everything.

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TORONTO, CANADA

Toronto with Britney was amazing.

I had so much fun, we've been out all the time.

We went to the CN tower, and had dinner there, a lot of older couples were giving us dirty looks. It was probably because we were laughing so much, and we looked like we didn't belong there at all.

We walked around downtown for hours, stopping in random stores. Again, I bought quite a bit, I had to send stuff back to my dad again.

We've had a mix of relaxing and partying while here, I've loved it, actually. After one party, Britney hooked up with some guy, which meant I was waiting in the lobby of the hotel until he left, since this was the one place we shared an actual hotel room.

I've loved being here, but now it's back home for two weeks.

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LONDON, ENGLAND

Brit and I were out and about the day we got to London. When we were out, I swore I saw Ashton. Britney didn't believe me. She thought I was going crazy. I thought I was going crazy. I thought I was over him but here I was, imagining him.

Or so I thought. Apparently the guys were around, and I actually did see Ashton, with Calum.

I'm glad I thought I was imagining him, since I didn't go up to him. For some reason I just can't stop thinking about him.

My dad figured out how to work the webcam at home, so we video chatted. I made sure he showed me all the packages I sent home, so I knew he hadn't opened them. He said I got a letter from Luke, I told him to throw it out, he probably didn't.

Since I've been here longer than I've been most places, my dad sent the letter from Luke out to me. I stared at it for an hour before opening it. I cried after the first two sentences. It made me cave, I called him. He cried, I cried even more, we were just a mess. I made him promise not to tell Ashton that we spoke. He tried convincing me to talk to Ashton, but I refuse. I barely let him talk to me about Ashton.

I did everything a tourist would do, closer to the end of my time in London. It was one of the most anazing cities I've ever been too, I know I'll be back one day.

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AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS

Ever since Britney went back home, I've talked to her everyday. She keeps talking about Cameron, it's getting annoying. She broke up with him before leaving for the trip, but when we went back home a while ago, she tried fixing things. They've been talking on the phone a lot now.

Most of my time here I've been drawing everywhere I go, it's been great.

It's been one place I've loved relaxing.

I called Luke again. He's helped a lot, since Ashton can't. I mean, Ashton can but we aren't talking. From what Luke has said, it seems like I'm never even on Ashton's mind anymore. But that's okay, this is what I wanted... Or what I thought I wanted.

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hey I know I already take a long time to update but now that I have final projects and exams coming up wattpad is the least of my worries so this is a warning idk when the next update might be!!!! I promise I'll try so much harder to update when school is finished!!