Memory House

Razor

(Again, trigger warning, since cutting is a huge problem for some people. But if you're a sensitive ex-cutter, you shouldn't be reading psychological horror.)

The hallway was long. A single rug ran down the hall. Five doors came off of it. 2 on each side, and one on the end. The first three I tried were locked. The last one on the right side was unlocked.

The room was all dark wood panels. The entire room was dark. There was no obvious source of light. The room seemed to generate it's own light.

There were two pieces of furniture in the room. A bed, and what seemed to be a rolling table. While most of these tables had accurate and sharp instruments, this one did not. It had a pair of school scissors, a smashed up razor, and a blunt, old kitchen knife.

As expected, a girl sat on the bed. Me, at 14. Arm bloody and cut up. My cuts were always shallow, but that was to be expected with the crude tools I used. I had to run them over many times before I was satisfied.

She sat on the bed, fully engrossed in her task. Never wincing or showing any sign of pain, she would pull and squeeze the skin, trying to get the smallest droplet of blood out. She had the hunger for control. Little girl, this isn't the way to do it.

"You should stop."

Her face looked up. I expected to see embarrassment, sadness, or guilt. All I saw was triumph.

"Someone noticed. I was beginning to think my blood and tears were invisible."

I was looking for someone at that age. Someone who cared enough to notice how much I was hurting. That person still hasn't come. Poor girl.

"It's a selfish world we live in. I'm waiting for the one who looks beyond their own problems. Why can't someone look at me?"

I had a speech in my head. some cheesy line like: It gets better, it's just a phase. But then I remembered the body in the atrium. For some, it never gets better. I can't feed this girl more lies.

"It is a selfish world we live in. We are self absorbed enough to want attention, but selfish enough to never give attention. If you don't love yourself, and if you don't love others, it won't get better. Stop being selfish and maybe you'll change someone to see past themselves too."

I could tell she didn't hear me. She didn't want to. Nobody wants to hear that truth, that most likely, nobody will notice. I left her be, and walked back out to the hall.