One Life, One Incarnation, Beautiful Bones

17

Her head whipped up, and she looked elatedly at Teacher. When she turned around, wanting to climb back up onto the bamboo chair, she felt herself rising up into the air as he lifted her up from behind her. "Write. I will hold you." She nodded, feeling slightly nervous as well as somewhat delighted, which resulted in the handwriting for these characters, when she wrote them, to be quite different from the others.

She wanted to continue, but Teacher had already set her down. "Go sleep now. When you complete your studies, come back to finish the remainder."

Thus, within the library tower, there was an incomplete poem written in her handwriting.

In her mind, she even thought of this as a secret.

Later, as she gradually grew older, she was able to comprehend the true meaning behind this line:

The woman offers her beauty, the man gives his soul in return. They develop mutual feelings and united hearts, and the heart is poured out to that person beside.

Each time Teacher left the manor, it would be for a minimum of half a month but could be as long as three months, and she would secretly go to the library tower. On some afternoons, she would open the window, and there would always be a breeze that blew in. In the summer, it would be a little hotter and more oppressive, while in the winter, it would be a little chillier and more biting. If there was wind, then there would be noise, whether it was the moaning cry of the air passing through several shelves or the swishing sound as it brushed over the scrolls.

In the beginning, she was small in stature and would always stand on the bamboo chair, but as she slowly grew taller, she no longer needed to use it.

She would never need to tell him, for Zhousheng Chen would still always be able to find her in that place. And then, on the same column, he would measure whether she had grown taller in the time he had been away. Each time she unexpectedly saw him again after he returned, she would always be extremely happy, but unable to express it with words, she would tentatively hook her index finger around his little finger and swing her hand, refusing to let go of him.

"Eleven." Whenever he spoke to her, he would always lower himself onto one knee and use a gentle tone. "You look the prettiest when you are smiling. Always smile, yes?" The corner of her lips turned up in a smile.

Days passed, months elapsed, years slipped by.

Qin, chess, calligraphy, and painting -- she was not an expert in all of them. She had a preference for chess and painting.

The former, she could use to pass the time with Teacher in the library tower, while the latter, she could use when Teacher was taking care of official matters to capture his appearance and expressions. She dared not blatantly paint him and would hide everything - those eyes, that demeanor and poise, his every frown or smile, the Teacher who was asleep, tired, or filled with rage because of the battlefield situations - amongst painted flowers, grass, and landscape.

Only she could look at them, only she could understand them.

She was forbidden to leave the prince's manor, so naturally, her views of the outside world were much more limited than her senior brothers and sisters. Once every ten days, they would come together for a shared dinner, and each time, she would always be able to listen to the senior brothers who had already accompanied Teacher out to the battlefield before enthusiastically describe how his sword would direct the army of thousands and he would lead the charge before his soldiers. And her senior sisters would recount what was said of Teacher and his reputation out in the marketplace gossip.

"Eleven, do you think that Teacher is very handsome?"

She paused briefly in surprise, thought for a moment, then gave a slight nod of her head.

If Teacher could not be considered handsome, then there was no one in this world who was pleasing to the eye.

"Have you ever heard of 'beautiful bones'?" Her youngest senior sister leaned against her shoulder and whispered, "'Beautiful bones, rare in this world. Those with bone do not have skin, those with skin do not have bone.[5]' Xiao Nan Chen Prince is the only man in this world who has beauty of both the skin and the bones. The common folk all say that this is even more rare than having emperor's bones."

The last part of what this little senior sister had said were words of heresy.

"Xiao Nanchen Prince -- the one who has thousands of retainers who have sworn allegiance to his family, holds the control of an army of seven hundred thousand, and has magnificent military accomplishments -- should have divided up the land, created new borders, and established a new, ordered, and just realm."

Her eyes flashed.

She knew this senior sister had indulged too much in drink and had forgotten that this junior sister who could not engage in gossip was actually the crown princess.

A person's whose existence was for the sole purpose of becoming worthy of the imperial family and for gaining the support of Xiao Nanchen Prince.

Flustered from listening to this, after dinner, she secretly slipped up into the library tower again. She had not expected, though, that Teacher would be there, the lamps and candles unlit as he stood beside the window, lost in thought. Through the gaps between the wooden shelves, she stood and watched Teacher from afar. She thought of her senior sister's words. Beautiful bones. Those words may have sounded beautiful, but they were also like shackles.

Growing tired from her watching, she sat down and drifted off to sleep.

The next time she opened her eyes, the sky was already starting to brighten, but she did not see Teacher. There was only his long robe that was covering her body. The garment was cold; he had likely left long ago. This was the first time that she had fallen asleep here and Teacher had not carried her down out of the tower.

Shi Yi's fingers followed the cuff of the sleeve and gently traced a circle around its edge.

This action alone already caused her cheeks to grow hot. Many years ago, she had only known how to recite up to, "Beneath long, curved brows, sidelong gazes are cast again and again." It was he who had taught her, "Beauty is offered, a soul is given in return, and the heart rejoices to be at one another's side."

Now, she truly was in a state where beauty had been offered, a soul had been given in return, and love had bewitched her mind.

[1]小南辰王 "Xiao Nan Chen Wang." I am going to keep this mostly in pinyin and translate his title as Xiao Nanchen Prince. The 小 means "little" and is likely referring to the young age at which he inherited the title of Nanchen Prince or his status as the youngest uncle of the crown prince and youngest prince of the previous generation. 南 "nan" means "south." I believe 辰 "chen" is referring to 星辰 "xing chen" or "stars." Hence, "Xiao Nanchen Prince" could also be thought of as "Little 'Stars of the Southern Sky' Prince". I ended up keeping his title in pinyin because it just felt awkward using the English version.

[2] He did not call himself 为师 "wei shi", which means "your teacher" or "as your teacher." This self-address that a teacher would use when speaking to his disciple, although it establishes the relationship, is in a way also distancing himself from his disciples by clearly laying out his status. Using "I" to address himself is less formal, is friendlier, and gives a closeness to the relationship.

[3] 师兄姐 "shi xiong jie." Technically, it should be translated as senior male/female fellow student. However, 兄 means "older brother" and 姐 means "older sister" and especially in ancient times where discipleship like this in some sense, carried a connotation of being like a family under the same teacher, so I have kept it simple and just translated this as "senior brother" and "senior sister."

[4]上林赋 "Shanglin Fu." Ancient poem/rhapsody from the Han dynasty, written by the poet, Sima Xiangru. This is the rhapsody that the line, "Beauty is offered..." comes from. The title has been translated by some scholars as "Rhapsody of the Imperial Park", and that is what I'll use in the translation. (Again, here is the link to a full translation, although I will not be following it.) Shanglin was the imperial hunting grounds and park of the Han dynasty.

[5]美人骨 'mei ren gu.' The literal translation is "bones of a beauty" and represents the character of one who possesses true beauty. I will translate this as "beautiful bones." Therefore, the "skin" and "bones" in this line refer to outer and inner beauty, respectively.