our love was built along the way

I need to unlearn what I'm used to

Sadness, anger, frustration and guilt were all things Theo was used to feeling. But Love, that was one he had never felt before, one he didn't think he ever would feel, let alone Deserve to feel. After everything he had put people through, he didn't deserve to be loved. He didn't deserve to have people care about him. It's why he constantly pushes people away, why he stays to himself.

The concept of love was something he had no idea about. There was nothing about him to be loved. He was broken beyond repair. All these thoughts are constantly running through his head. Even if, at the end of the day, he found himself longing to be loved. By someone, anyone.

After the night at the hospital with Liam, he had found himself starting to feel for the blue eyed beta. And it scared him, it upset him. Because he knew there was no way that Liam would reciprocate the feelings. No matter how badly he wanted him too.

He couldn't help but dream of what they could have, what their life could be like if the other had loved him back, just as much as he loved him.

He was sitting on the bridge in the woods, looking down at the water below his feet, reminiscing about all the good times he had shared with Tara before he let her die. Wondering what their life would've been like if he hadn't listened to the doctors and saved her instead.

All in all, that was his biggest flaw. He focused too much on the past. Wishing he could have done things differently. Wishing he had not let himself get manipulated and used. That he hadn't turned into the violent, murderous, psychopathic creature he was today.

He was so caught up in his head that he didn't hear the second heartbeat approaching him. So when a hand landed on his shoulder, he couldn't help but flinch at the sudden touch, not expecting it. And when he looked over to see who it was, his brain turned into a mess. He couldn't comprehend why Liam was sitting next to him. Why was Liam ever there to begin with?

"Liam? What are you doing out here? It's cold" he said, trying to keep his heartbeat calm and steady, even if he was anything but that.

"I was worried about you, you didn't answer the phone, '' Liam said quietly, looking at him.

"Im fine" theo said, his lips in a tightline and he turned away to look back down at water rippling below his feet. His hands were shaking from the cold, he couldn't even remember how long he had been sitting out there.

"You're not fine theo, talk to me." Liam whispered, moving his hand to grab Theo's and hold them tightly. "God your hands are freezing! How long have you been out here?"

All he could do was shrug his shoulders. Because he didn't know how long he was out there for. He hadn't even thought to keep track of time. But with Liam's hand on his own, he slowly felt himself start to heat again. He could blame it on the fact that liam's hands were extremely warm, even in the cold weather. But he knew better than that.

He pulled his hands away from Liam's and quickly stood up, brushing himself off as he took one last look at the water before turning away from it. "I was just getting ready to leave anyway," he said quietly, looking out into the woods in front of him.

Liam stood up quickly, standing in front of him and reaching for his hands again. He was looking at Theo's face, trying to find any sign of emotion in them, but he couldn't. There was nothing there for him to see.

"Where are you going?"

Theo pulled his hands away so Liam could grab them and shrugged his shoulders again. Because he quite frankly wasn't sure where he was going to go. He didn't exactly have a place he could call his home, and he didn't really think his truck would count. He turned around and started making his way back to his car, wanting to get as far away from Liam as he could. But of course, the universe had other plans for him. Because once again, he found the beta following him. Something he seemed to do a lot recently.

"Liam go home" he said through gritted teeth, turning around to face him once again.

"No, i'm not leaving until you talk to me"

Theo clenched his fists at his sides, he wasn't angry at the beta perse, but more towards himself. He was always angry with himself. Because he so badly wanted to give into his feelings, to plant his lips against his. To hold him and never let go. And it hurt so bad, knowing he couldn't have any of that. Because it was what he so desperately wanted.

"There's nothing to talk about!!" he yelled, his eyes flashing yellow for a quick second before he looked away, facing the ground again. "Please just go"

He wasn't aware of when his eyes had closed, but they quickly reopened again when he felt the press of a warm hand against his face, forcing him to look back liam. He could see the worry in the younger male's eyes.

"Theo, please- just...talk to me...please" Liam said softly, as if he cared about theo. Which was stupid, because no one cared about him. He wasn't worth people caring about him.

" You just don't get it, do you!! G-d you have no fucking idea!!" he all but screamed, taking a step back away from Liam so that the male was no longer touching him.

"Then tell me!!" Liam yelled back, feeling his anger slowly start to bubble up inside him.

"I fucking love you Liam!! I love you!! Okay? I...i know it's stupid and that you don't love me back-" he tilted his head back, letting out a wet laugh as his shoulders shook, "-but you make it so damn confusing sometimes. One minute you act like you hate me and the next you act as if you even give a damn about me" at some point during all his screaming, he had failed to notice the stray tears that had slowly started to make their way down his face. But at this point he didn't even care.

"Just.. just forget i sa-" before he could finish getting his words out, a pair of lips were on his. Liam's lips were on His. It took a few seconds for his brain to fully comprehend what was happening, but once it did, he felt himself kissing back. One of his snaking around to grab his waist while the other made its way to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

It was a few moments before one of them pulled away, Liam being the one to break the kiss, a huge grin covering his face. " You're such an idiot," he said, shaking his head softly, both of his hands cupping Theo's face.

"Wh-"

"I love you...Theo" he said, resting his forehead against his, wiping away the tears on Theo's face. " I don't know when, and I don't know how. But all I know is that I love you" he said, moving his thumb to caress his cheekbone, the smile on his face only growing bigger.

"You- you love me?" Theo asked, not being able to help the smile that was making its way onto his face, "really?"

"Yes really, you dork '' Liam said, shaking his head softly, "come home with me, please" he said, staring into those eyes.

"Okay"

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay...i'll- i'll go home with you"

Theo may not know what the whole concept of love was, but he was willing to learn, if it meant having Liam by his side.

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sorry if this is shitty, im not the best writter out there.