Never Let Go

Chapter 3

Blissfully, my exhausted sleep is uninterrupted by nightmares. It's the first time since Ethan and I married that I've slept soundly through the night. By the time the sun comes up the following day, however, I've been awake for hours—lying beside Ethan and listening to his breathing, deep and steady.

Allie and Nicole eventually entered the sitting room and crashed on the couch. I want to explain everything to them—I'm just scared of how they'll respond.

I'd written in detail about the attack in my various letters, but I'd hidden a crucial piece of information: I knew the identity of one of my attackers. I'm still having trouble coming to terms with it. How can I possibly break the news to them? To Mom?

Silently, I climb out of bed, tiptoeing into our closet. I get dressed almost robotically and slip out the suite door. Neither my husband nor my sisters stir at the sound. A fire is softly blazing in the fireplace before the silk couch I'd sat on last time.

One of the servants must have come in late last night—or very early this morning—and lit one. Regardless, I send a silent thank-you and sink onto the couch, covering my legs with the blanket and nestling into the warmth. I stare blankly into the fire, images dancing in the flames.

Men in black uniforms surrounding us as I push Juliette behind me, followed by the evil glint in the man's eyes after he issues his threat. The shock and grief that war inside me as I glance at the second man; the way my breath catches in my throat as a thousand little details flood my mind all at once. Despite not seeing his face in two years, I know it almost as well as my own. A tear slips down my cheek and falls onto my nightgown. Before I know it, sobs are tearing through my chest.

I cover my mouth to muffle the sound, but there's no muffling my heart breaking clean in half yet again. It's a wonder how it's kept beating these past few years. The sound of a door opening somewhere nearby makes my breath catch midsob. Hurriedly, I swipe at my cheeks, trying to get my breathing under control. A flash of pink appears in the corner of my vision as a voice fills the silence. "Laur?" Nicole stands before me, a cloak wrapped around her shoulders.

I don't respond. Nicole gently sits beside me, slipping the cloak over my shoulders. We sit in silence for several minutes, the only sound being my soft sniffles and the occasional pop and crackle of the fire. When I finally get my emotions under control, I take a deep breath and meet my sister's eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, my voice hoarse from crying. Once my mouth opens, the words pour out and don't stop. "I know I should have told you, Mom, and Allie, but I was just scared and—"

A gentle squeeze on my hand makes me pause. Nic's eyes are filled with concern, but another emotion is wedged beside the former that takes me a minute to identify: worry. "Whatever it is, Laur, you don't ever have to hide from us. Me, Mom, Allie, Ethan—we love you, and we're here for you. We're your family."

"It's bad, Nic," I whisper brokenly, the familiar depression seizing me. The words wait on my tongue, ready to be spoken.

She shakes her head, squeezing my hand again. "Whatever it is, we're here for you." Though her words are calm, worry dances in her eyes.

My chest hitches as I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "You remember the attack two years ago?" The images from the fire float through my head, and my hand clutches hers. My heart speeds up in my chest, and I take another deep breath.

Anger flares in her eyes as her jaw clenches. A tense nod is the only sign that she hears me. I have no doubt the images that are going through her head are the same that were present in the fire. "For so long, I only remembered the first man—I heard his voice in my nightmares and saw his face as I locked eyes with him. But recently, I could identify the second man, put a name to the face." Here I have to stop and stifle the sob that threatens to choke me.