Nothing Will Change

Chapter 59

They stopped off at Rose's house just so she could at least put a clip in her hair. Then she would actually be presentable for the races. Tommy had argued she didn't need anything and she could go as she was, but Rose insisted he gave her five minutes so she could put on a bit of makeup. Also because she wanted Ada to know she was all right. When she finally got to see her again, she advised to skip the races entirely, which would have been smarter. It would be in her best interest to stay home and relax after all that had happened, everyone would likely tell her that.

But as she did her hair and put on her makeup, she couldn't lock herself away and shout from the window she wasn't coming. She couldn't take off her dress, it gripped to her like a second skin, and she would have to wear it for at least a day before it was allowed to ridden. And... She couldn't let Tommy out her sights, not with the distant look in his eyes. It had to be stress, and she wanted to hold his hand and be beside him so at least he knew she wouldn't leave him. That he would succeed that day, that all would be well for him and his business.

When she came back out the house he complained about the fact she didn't look like she had changed at all, and yet spent around half an hour indoors. She giggled and ruffled his hair, teasing him as he rolled his eyes and continued driving. He knew the dress she was wearing was picked by Alfie, and strangely it looked like something he would pick for Ada, in the sense it wasn't something Alfie would want to look at. Though it was so Rose, and Tommy never thought to buy her dresses because she knew far more than him, and her own designs were better than anything he saw in shop windows. Yet maybe he should, maybe he should buy her more.

Finding the rest of the boys by their military style truck, Rose's eyes lit up as she saw Arthur sat smoking a cigar talking to John and Johnny Dogs. A car passed them as the men spotted them, Arthur mirroring her smile as he bellowed without a care for the type of neighbourhood they were in. However, she didn't think the men urinating cared either.

"Rose! Oh fuck come here!" He ran over and picked her up into a hug, sighing, "glad you're all right."

"As I am for you," she held his arms as she pulled away, John lightly patting so she'd hug him too.

Arthur also have a hug to Tommy, thanking him for however he got him out of prison. Finn was there, shooting up in height Rose was sure he'd be in the clouds if he didn't slow down. He used to be at her waist, but now seemed to be the tallest Shelby.

"So Arthur's back in charge now?" John asked.

"He's in charge of you and you're both in charge of him," Tommy pointed over to Finn who moaned that he was old enough to join them, but that wasn't true. He wanted so badly to be a man, like Micheal, yet they both could use still being boys. They'd thank him when they were his age.

"Johnny Dogs."

"Tommy?"

"Your boys will meet us there?" He requested.

"The Lees will be there, Captain."

It had been a while since she watched him command a group, and Rose chuckled hearing them respond like they were on a sailing ship. Tommy questioned being referred to as a captain, but in a way it suited him more than just a sergeant major. He was going up, flying above, becoming rich. She would lean into his side and suggest he take it as a compliment, and he would hide his smirk as he nodded his head.

Loading up the truck with men, Rose sat with Tommy in the front again as they headed off for the derby. Sitting in the warm van watching the country roll by Rose found herself closing her eyes. She couldn't sleep around Alfie's so now her eyes weighed down like she was slipping down a mountain. Someone's shoulder became her pillow, and it felt like feathers or she was just so tired she could lay down on pins and find them comfortable. There were whispers saying to let her sleep, which must have been Tommy, because his shoulder would never stiffen if she rested on it.

And then darkness, but it was like hot chocolate or the first blooming of flowers because Rose had never felt such comfort in a lack of dreams. When she didn't dream it was disappointing, she would have nothing to tell Ada and James of when she woke up. She'd sit up in bed and huff because the best stories came from dreams. If you think too hard to make a story, they never form the way you want. All the greatest stories get told organically, as James often debated. But he poured every part of himself into every letter until the text became a portrait of himself.

Though when they were halfway there, Rose was jostled awake, pulling herself upright as the van came to a stop. The midway point Tommy would deliver the set of instructions, where no ears could listen in. In the country where it was barren and all you could see for miles was grass and trees, the Peaky Blinders could settle their plans for the coming afternoon. The men huddled around Tommy in between the vans where he stood above them. Rose quickly folded her arms beside Arthur, watching him in control again. All hers.

"Gentlemen, and lady," he tilted his head to Rose and she scoffed playfully, "today we are not fucking about. I hope you've all obeyed instructions and brought loaded firearms with you."

They waved their guns around and she tensed just for a moment, because they seemed to not have a care their weapons were half the length of their torsos.

"Very good," Tommy cringed, "you all know that if you are lifted on a race track these days with a loaded weapon, you get 20 years. That's all right. Today you won't get lifted. Because today there'll be no coppers around to lift you."

As Tommy went over the plan, she saw truly just how respected he was. She couldn't name hardly any of the faces stood around them apart from Shelby's and Johnny Dogs, and yet it stank of communion. There was comfort in being there, there was belonging. She could stand there and marvel at the small huddle of men knowing that one day it would be over twice the size of them. And she wouldn't have to see any of it, she'd be too busy making clothes and running fashion shows, staying in a big house in the country away from guns at all.

At 3 o'clock there will be an incident, that was Tommy's mission, what he was sent to do. By Campbell, but he would be gone soon then. After it was all finished. Rose could look past anything bad they were about to do that day over the selfish consolation that they would be happy once it's done. Move in of Sabini's pitches whilst the coppers look for Tommy, who'd be gone and safe and hopefully had taken her with him.

No shots fired, all except one from Tommy's gun.

"Remember, the licences are more important than the takings," Tommy informed them, "all right. Before the fun begins, you can all lay ten Bob on Nom De Guerre. I hear she's going to win."

As he handed John a bag full of cash to hand around, Tommy hopped off his pretend stage. The men cheered as they received their cash, only being aloud a beer which Rose found particularly funny as most men were probably not going to follow that. Tommy moved to stand with her, taking a cigarette out of his case. He looked brighter in control, he glowed and revelled in it.

"What's my job then today, sir?" she teased still with her arms folded.

Tommy chuckled, tracing his cigarette over his lips, "don't call me sir you don't work for me anymore."

"Anymore."

"You job is have fun," he said, "May will be there, you two should get a drink, laugh, don't even fucking look at what any of these men plan on doing. All you got to do today is enjoy yourself. That can't be hard eh?"

He placed a hand on her waist and pulled her closer slightly as the men moved around them, standing face to face towards each other. He would have kissed her right there if all the men weren't there also. With her long hair and high cheekbones he wanted to hold any time she smiled.

"As long as you make your way back to me."

There was a cloud floating over him, so dark it was trying desperately to hide his smiles and his joyfulness. He blinked and suddenly he was gone, thinking so many things at once and feeling them all at the same time. He was so subtle in the way his face changed and yet, she'd always notice. There was something hurting him even if he didn't want to say if. Or he didn't know how and waiting eagerly for her to decipher him like she did always. To read him like a children's book that's understood so clearly. Though on a day that's meant to be so happy, that's meant to mean change, Rose couldn't see what was caught at the back of his throat, what was etched in invisible ink on his lips. So he couldn't say it, he could only pretend.

"Of course I will."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek, "of course you will."