⚠️tw⚠️ mental health issue's such as sh, depression, Ed and suicide...
y/n garcia penelope's sister has been with the bau for 1 year. she's a very private person but now, her mental health caves in after another lose in her life.
everyone will see h...
"Serena is great" "His wife" I mouth to emily who could hear the whole conversation. "We are still waiting for the adoption agency to reach out" Carlos and Serena we planning to adopt.
(Serena is not a real caracter, there isn't much info in the garcia bothers. Only a bit on Carlos. I don't even know who the oldest is bc the series never mentioned p's other brothers)
"But I called to asked about you" "I'm better" em looked at me, knowing I was lying especially after that song I just sang. But i wasn't going to tell him I was still struggling. "Kinda sucks to have to hear everything through p. Like the fact that your bi? And that eva was your girlfriend?" I wasn't sure if he knew. But he does.
"I'm sorry Carlos" "I'm your big little brother y/n. Talk to me" I was always closer with p and Carlos bc we were closer in age.
I didn't want emily to hear what I had to say. So I spoke in Spanish.
"Estoy mejor pero lucho. Tengo una nueva novia y la quiero mucho. pero se siente raro que estoy con alguien que no es eva. y constantemente siento que no soy lo suficientemente bueno para ella."
(Sorry if it's bad)
Translation: im better but i do struggle. i have a new girlfriend and i love her so much. but it feels weird that im with someone who isnt eva. and im constantly feeling like im not good enough for her.
"t/n créeme. eres una persona increíble y una hermana pequeña aún mejor. mereces seguir adelante. tu hermosa y digna. no te castigues mucho" he reposonded
Translation: y/n belief me. your an amazing person and an even better little sister. you deserve to move on. your beautiful and worthy. don't beat yourself up to much.
"Eres un gran hermano, te amo. y lamento no haberte contactado" I responded
Translate: you're a great brother, i love you. and i'm sorry i didn't contact you.
"yo también te amo, mi dulce hermanita"
Translate: i love you too, my sweet little sister.
We continued talking for abit to catch up on everyting . Eventually The call ended and I look back at emily.
"creo que olvidaste que hablo español" she said looking at me.
Translation: i think you forgot i speak Spanish
"Mierda" I said looking away. I just told my brother I love her. We've been dating less than a week. "Yk I agree with everything he said" she said when she got up. She made me some soup. And I tried my best to eat it.
We turned on the national news. When jj appeared, talking about an unsub. I noticed how emily looks at her and thought fill my head. Once jj disappeared from our screen I look back at em.
"Could you maybe get some groceries? I'll cook tonight " she agreed. Got dressed and left.
The second I was sure she was really gone i take out my kit from my bag and run in the bathroom.
I slide down my pants and cut into my legs. My brain is filled with ugly thoughts. Comparing myself with jj.
One slice after another.
There goes my 4 months clean
I slice and slice until the thoughts calm down. I wrapped my legs up and put my kit away again. I step on the scale to see if I have lost weight.
Only 3 kg since 2 weeks ago
Emily has been watching me when I eat so I'm eating more calories again. But I need a way to lose weight.
Em got back and I make her some pasta and me just a sandwich.
She looks at me but i try to ignore it. I just finished my salad and my thighs are hurting everytime I move my legs or when my pants touch the cuts.
It Hurst but I kinda like it. My eyes get teary tho so I try to hide my face. After finishing our food em lays her head on my legs. Making them hurt even more. "Are you okay?" She turned her head around making it hurt evenmore.
"Ye the movie is just sad" "We are litterly watching frozen" she said as she got up. "What, the scene were else runs away and then when Ana froze and elsa cries is really sad." I try to cover up
"Spoilers?! I haven't even seen that part yet how do you cry about it already " she said kinda pissed I spoiled it for her. "I just know it's coming" She stops the movie. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Putting on something els bc the movie is ruined now"
I feel bad now. I lied to em and I ruined the movie. My anxiety flares up and I play with ny fingers. Look outside the window, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry I didn't mean-" em tried to speak but I interrupted. "Don't be sorry, you can't know when my anxiety builds up" I take another pill and try to get over it.
She snuggled with me and we ended up watching a marvel movie. Emily fel asleep in my arms and I just had to take a picture.
I scroll through my phone and changed my home screen to this picture.
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