Girls Don't Know Jack

Pinch Me

She seems surprised, jerking her head back like I've gone insane.

A chuckle escapes me and I lean back against the smooth wall. "I've been a shit, haven't I?"

Tina smirks at me, silver braces sparkling. "We all have been," she states simply.

And just then the boy of the hour emerges from the library, long lean body sauntering down the dark hall towards the exit door.

Not everybody, I think to myself.

Jumping to my feet, I swat my new-found friend in the arm. "I'll catch you later, Tina," I tell her. "I've got somewhere to be."

And then my legs carry me down the hall, out the heavy door to the back parking lot of Wilcrest.

.............

Perched onto a cement curb in the empty lot, Jack Moody rests under the soft glow of a street lamp. Slowly, I approach him, the cold wind whipping against my bare shins.

"Hey," I call out softly to the dimly lit figure. "I come in peace."

Placing my palms out towards him, I show I mean no harm. Jack smiles softly, looking up at me with dark eyes.

"It's okay," he tells me before motioning me over with a nod of his head. "Come. Sit."

Grateful he's even speaking to me, I rest my bum onto the curb beside him. The sounds of PTA parents shuffling into their cars rustles the air.

"So," I mutter awkwardly, unsure where to even begin. But then, I turn my whole body towards him, bare knees brushing against the harsh fabric of his jeans as I stare at him with heavy eyes.

"Jack, I'm so sorry for everything." The words tumble out as the days of pent up guilt finally rush out in a jumbled mess. "I never meant for any of this to happen. And I know you probably hate me—want nothing to do with me ever again, but..."

My eyes scan the dark asphalt beneath us, trying to find the words to convey what he means to me. To show him he's more to me than the way I've been treating him.

For weeks, since he's arrived, I've treated him like a prize to be won. Like he was some shiny trophy I needed to earn to parade around the school.

But he's more than that. He's a human being—a great one at that. With feelings and emotions, with troubles and faults of his own. And he deserves better than how I've treated him.

"Look," I mutter softly peering back at his brown eyes that narrow at me under thick brows. "I've been awful. And like you said when I showed up to your house, I'm selfish and immature—"

"Molly," he interrupts but I shake my head.

"No, let me finish," I plead and he closes his mouth, staring back at me with such intensity it feels like my heart might fall out of my butt. "What I'm saying is, I know I don't deserve you. And, I would understand if after everything, you just want to cut your losses and move on—but I want you to know, I meant what I said in the library."

His brows scrunch a bit, narrowing in on my words.

"You have a good heart—and you're a great friend. I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner—that I was being crazy, trying to force something you didn't feel," I explain in a stammered rush of words. "But, I'd be so lucky just to call you my friend, Jack Moody."

A chilled wind rips through us, causing my hair to blow into my face as his flops over his forehead.

"But I don't want to be your friend," he tells me flatly.