"Then let's do it over here," I suggested, moving in front of her as the group laid across the blanket.
My body shielded her from the group's view so this could just be our moment. Between us.
"Cee, yo big head in the way! I can't take a good shot!" Marcel made that known from the blanket.
"I know, I know, that's the point. Gimme a moment, damn," I called out. I focused my attention back on Ora. "Look inside," I whispered, slowly opening up the box for her to see.
"Ohhh...it's a necklace," she gave me an awkward smile, "Cee. You really...didn't have to do this." I frowned then, "You don't like it?" She played with the edge of one of her sleeves, looking away. I had even taken my contacts off for her today. I had let myself be fully me before her. "I feel like you planned this with yourself in mind, don't take my words...hard. But I don't like the park, don't like a lot of people staring at me, and when's the last time I wore jewelry? And, even if you had somehow found the perfect place to do this at and the perfect gift- my answer would still be the same. It's a no, Cecia."
"What's happenin' y'all?" Xochitl asked from the blanket. Somebody shushed her. I really hoped they weren't listening in. I grabbed Ora's hand, surprised that she let me do as much, and we started walking a bit further away for more privacy.
"Why's your answer a no?" I demanded.
She gave me a sad smile, "I thought you said you'd accept any answer I'd give you. Remember valuing my time and my opinion?" she tried to joke. "I don't think I could date you, Cee," she told me after a moment. "And while this all was nice, I can't lie to you and say what you want me to say."
"Is it because of the other day-
"I wish it was just that, but it's a whole lot you'd have to do before I'd consider you changed," she stated, "A changed person wouldn't just move on with their life like regular after they did something bad. You could've at least came clean to Kailin's family about your part in things, or told somebody else...besides me, what you did to her brakes. You're a fearful person. You aren't changed. You're scared to even think about what you did. You want to forget it and put it behind you in that way, and I just can't commit to somebody who can't even commit to themselves, and fixing their flaws."
"I'll go to her family and apologize-
"Because I've put the idea in your head? Just now? No. That's not enough. You should've already considered that. That shit happened last year, you shoulda had that shit done with, matter of fact. Me and Linda talked and that was my way of closing out that issue. I woulda done that years ago without anybody telling me to if I had been given the chance. Now you need to do the same somehow and make up for all your wrongs...before I can even want to be with you."
I closed the jewelry box, nodding.
Nothing fancy or lavish would be enough to convey to her what I felt. She wanted actions...and I had to respect that.
"It's not a hard 'no' anymore. Just a...you need to fix yourself first. A soft 'no', if you will," she told me, laying a hand on my shoulder. "And don't do this shit again. Ask me in private, Cee. I almost had a heart attack, seriously."
"Could you at least promise me that you won't love nobody else," I cracked a smile, "Until you come around to the idea of me being with you? Promise that you'll be mine's someday?"
She stepped towards me, grabbing me by the neck to pull me closer. "I think I can do that, Cecia."
"Aww shiii! What did she say, Cee?" Zeymira and the rest of the group jogged over to where we were.
