Never Knew I Needed (Chaelisa)

Chapter 17

"Do I want to what, Lisa?" She asks, and I lift my head, my heart wanting nothing more than to blurt out pretty much everything I want, but instead I just finish off what I was originally planning. It's easier than revealing the truth.

"Do you want to come and sleep with me?" I cock my head to the right quickly, gesturing to my door. And I know if it were any other person, I'd correct my words, stumble over the letters and splutter because I don't mean sleep with me as in fuck me, I mean, lying in each others arms and holding each other until we both fall asleep; but Rosé knows me well. Too well, I think, and she just nods sheepishly, the corners of her lips tugging up into a nervous smile and she reaches out with a shaking hand which I take, sliding my fingers through hers.

I let my eyes linger on hers for a long moment, counting the seconds and breaths we both take before I guide her into my bedroom, opening the door and letting her enter first before I follow her. Our hands stay clutched together the entire time, fingers locked around each other and I feel her stroke over the back of my thumb as I slide into bed, pulling her with me until both of us are lying on our sides, facing each other.

And in this moment, it feels like I should say something. It feels significant for some reason, a reason I know not of, but I don't want to ruin it by asking. I don't want to break the gaze, change the way Rosé's staring at me like she never wants to stop, and so I let myself revel in those brown eyes roaming around my face, drinking me in like it'll be the last time. Though I suppose it is; after all, we are going back to normality when I leave Miami.

I never realized until now how much I don't want that.

Because it's peaceful lying here quietly in the dark with Rosé. It makes me forget about everything bad in the world, and makes me think of a bright, happy future. It makes me forget about nosy best friends and questioning glares. It makes me forget about having to hide the lingering touches, and having to pretend like I'm not making eye as Rosé in a way I never thought I would. It just makes me forget everything, and as I watch Rosé watch me, I slowly become aware of something in the air changing between us; because for the first time, I'm seeing what I know to be true, reflected in her eyes.

It makes me gasp, and I want to acknowledge it out loud, but I can't. Just like I couldn't in the shower. It just makes everything too real, and so instead I shift my head closer on the pillow, my arm winding around Rosé's back and pressing against the small of her back to urge our bodies together, and I shift that little bit closer until I'm so close to Rosé that our noses bump and lips brush as I say, "Night, Rosie."

She smiles, I can feel it, and it's soft and warm and I close my eyes to think about it at the same time she eliminates the gap between us, kissing me carefully, gently, her hand coming up to rest against my cheek. I don't try to shift, to open my mouth and taste more of Rosé, instead just choose to kiss her, lips against lips and feel my heart thump loudly against my chest, matching the rhythm hers has set as the hand on her hip pulls her even closer to me.

Though soon enough I feel Rosé's lips getting sloppy against mine, the kiss turning sleepy and so I break away, craning my neck to press my lips to her forehead before we both settle back down on the pillow, the tips of our noses squashed together and warm exhalations of breath exchanging between us.

"Night, Lisa," she whispers, and I drop a kiss to her hair as my arms tug her further into me, our bodies so close together we might just melt into one another, but I say nothing in response.

And this time, with Rosé in my arms, I find sleep easily.

***

I wake up at some point in the night. I don't know why because the branch of the oak tree isn't scratching against the window pane like it did last night, and there's no-one padding down the hallway to use the bathroom. There's no real reason, and I go to shift a little when I find Rosé snuggled on my chest, her head resting on it, ear pressed to the space below my collarbones and I smile to myself, stroking a hand delicately over her hair. It's late, or early depending on my frame of mind, but whatever, it's still dark and so I don't want to wake her with my touches so I just lie there, making sure not to jolt her as I think of the weekend.