Life After Near Death

The Wounds Remain

"No!" Lucy cried out. "They ... they can't!"

"He can't walk, Lucy," Erza reasoned. "As drastic as it seems, it might be the best option. Artificial limbs like Gildarts' leg and arm, magical eyes like mine," she said, lightly touching the bottom of her eye that had been replaced. "Medical science is really advanced. He might need one leg replaced, maybe both, depending on if he can heal. The doctors aren't even worried about the legs right now. He still needs more corrective surgery on his abdomen, maybe spinal surgery, and his lung is still in a fragile state. Until that lung heals, he can't do anything strenuous. He's alive but ... but this has really changed him. I've been sitting with him all morning. It's like that isn't even Gray in there. I've seen him sad before, but ... never like this. I can't even imagine how he feels, waking up out of a two-week coma and being told all this. I ... can't imagine."

Tears were streaming down Lucy's eyes. Overwhelmed, she turned to Erza, who hugged her as she also struggled to remain strong. Natsu stood alone, and as the girls cried quietly, the Dragon Slayer drifted back over to the recovery room.

Slowly, he opened the door. Seeing Gray sitting up after having seen him so close to death made Natsu forget just how bad those injuries had been. He had seen Gray get shot. He remembered all the blood. He had prayed so hard for a miracle, and for a while he thought he got it. Gray was better, everything was fine, and they could go right back to hating each other's guts.

"I hate you, Natsu."

The Fire Dragon Slayer jolted, but then he tried to act cocky. "Yeah, well, who said I liked you?"

Gray's eyes stayed focused on the blue sky outside his small window. "During a fight, a person should be ready to face death. If the enemy is simply too much, they should fight to their very last breath, fight until they can't move, keep fighting and never surrender. If that's still not enough, they should stand their ground in defense of the friends around them and die like an honorable warrior."

"I ain't letting you die," Natsu said stubbornly.

Gray still stared at the sun pouring through the hospital window. "I made a mistake. I totally could have defeated him. Instead, I underestimated him."

"It happens," Natsu whispered cautiously.

Gray sadly shook his head. "By rescuing me and making me live like this—an invalid who will never walk again—this is nothing more than a disgrace. My life ... can't ever be the same," he said with a quaver to his voice. Natsu saw that Gray was holding back tears, and his keen nose smelled the fear the ice wizard felt about this horrible and uncertain future awaiting him. "It's over," he breathed. "It ... should've been over. My life. Everything."

That angered Natsu. "What, do you wish you would have died? Don't you dare say that, Gray! You're alive by a miracle. You should be happy."

"Happy?" he scoffed, and hate-filled eyes glared at the Fire Dragon Slayer. "Happy about what? What should I be so goddamn glad about? That I feel like shit? That I can't walk? Can't eat? Can't move? Can barely breathe? Can't even feel my legs? Should that make me happy?"

"You're alive, Gray," Natsu whispered, wishing he could see the good in just that much.

"Not by choice. Not by my own strength."

"Dammit, who cares about that?" shouted Natsu.

Gray's eyes snapped over at him. "You should have left me."

"Bastard, what's up with you?" Natsu yelled in anger. "We're a team. If one falls, the others pick that person up. That's how we've always done it. You, me, Lucy, even Erza: we've all had times when we need to have someone else save us. This is no different. Besides, do you think I'd leave a friend behind?"