𝟓𝟕 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

𝟯𝟴; 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿

"no, I won't go" Hyunjin argued feeling his own throat ache and vision blur terror raised in him as he knew what signs these were, god he felt pathetic for having been gotten so weak these days but at this minute these thoughts didn't matter, "I'm sorry, Felix. I'm so fucking sorry-" "no you don't apologize for my mistakes! I'm the one at fault here" finally, the brunette boy looked up staring at Hyunjin with his squinted eyes that couldn't stop producing tears, his nose dark red, cheeks flushed and lips plump with a tint of maroon while his long hair were pulled back in a half-ponytail with a few strands falling across the sides of his face

"I'm the one who's sorry" he sobbed harder, making Hyunjin confused and even further pained, a haze of sorrow engulfed the tall boy as he was thrown into a chasm of torment "what- why will you apologize? Felix I literally fucked up, majorly. and nothing could ever compare to how regretful I feel, I didn't mean it. none of it—please believe me, those weren't my words, that wasn't me" Hyunjin's sentence started as an apology but ended up sounding more like a plea, the wall that was previously broken by the thought of hurting Felix was now absolutely crumbled by watching Felix crying as a teardrop escaped the very eyes of the boy who was so callous that even statues seemed more lively and empathetic than him

"I'm sorry-" Hyunjin whispered, unable to stop his quivering bottom lip so he bit it, hard enough for the pain to raise goosebumps on his arms yet he didn't care. what could ever dare try top this pain that he was overwhelmed with right now? no words in no language could ever explain the guilt that smothered him every second, stepped on his throat and made it impotent to breathe, slaughtered him, drained every single drop of blood from his sinful body, and returned it only to kill him by a thousand cuts this time

"No-" "yes, yes Felix. I'm the one at fault, I'm sorry. please forgive me" Felix sobbed at the words so hard he almost fell on his knees but as always, Hyunjin's arms were always there to hold him, catch him from any fall that could ever dawn upon him

the taller wrapped his arms around Felix, holding him close and dear to his chest with Felix's face muffled in his shoulder. he carded his slim fingers in Felix's soft tangled locks and massaged through them, smoothing them out and all the worries that laid beneath them "Hyunjin" Felix wanted to say something, words. but they never seemed to come out, yet all that came out was a beg of his name, his lord's name. and it was enough, enough of a declaration, that was all Hyunjin needed to know what his beloved needed

"I'm here, lix, you're okay"

those whispers were like an orison of heaven or a hymn sung by angels straight into Felix's ears, a sweet sob withered from his lips but it wasn't of pain this time it was of serene, the same old serene he's become too familiar with now. it has returned, he closed his eyes as all that could wander in his mind was the return of his Hyunjin, the Hyunjin he trusted and poured all his love into, his faith, his devotion. in the end, the boy he trusted was this all along, not gone anywhere just hidden behind clouds of gloom and possessed by ghosts of wrath 

he held no grudge against him, nothing. all there was, was just peace. he didn't need to forgive Hyunjin as he was never mad at him, despite his forgiving nature he was never truly upset at Hyunjin, to begin with, he never could be and he never will be what he was hurt by was himself not Hyunjin he was hurt by the fact that he couldn't make Hyunjin believe his care for him, that he made Hyunjin feel that way, that Hyunjin was hurting and he was unaware and unable to help. but reminiscing it was of no use, it was over. the great war was over and now all there was, was a memory garden and a daisy in his hair

the times have passed when he'd had to draw his curtains close and drink the poison of his misery all alone, times have passed when he'd had to watch the burning embers be turned into ash. "I'm here, always" Hyunjin whispered once again, his lips pressed flat against Felix's head as he pressed soft kisses and sniffed the sweet scent with his eyes closed