Hold Me Down | winrina

Chapter 16

Heavy pounding on the door startles Winter out of her uneasy slumber. The couch is uncomfortable and with the blanket on she's sweaty, but she doesn't want to move, get up, acknowledge anything else right now.

She came home in a pile of tears and regret and crashed on the couch. The bed smelling too much like her, holding too many memories. The couch...the couch was the safer option. Her shirt smells like Karina's apartment but she can't take it off, can't even fucking breathe for the war that is raging inside of her chest.

Karina's clipped, hurt voice echoing in her head. Her wide, sad eyes as she retreated to the hotel bathroom. How happy and free she was in bed in the morning, kissing Winter like a fiend after they had sex.

It's all haunting her.

Has been since she left and came home and made her life on this couch. She doesn't even deserve the couch, but her bones protest any time she tries to move.

She keeps replaying it all in her head. Their conversation. Their night of... The past few weeks since Winter's trial. How Karina has made her feel safe and wanted and cared for more than anyone ever has.

How her kisses are the same but new every single time wake up something dormant and powerful in Winter's soul.

Replays how it all started.

How Karina didn't fight it. Seemed eager and wanting. Following Winter's lead. Always.

Patient and never pushing.

How Winter was always drawn to her, even when she couldn't stand her. For years. This simmering underneath all of it.

Simmering until it reached the breaking point.

How maybe, just maybe, this was always supposed to happen.

How maybe, just maybe, Winter feels more for Karina than she realized.

"Winter, Winter! Are you home?" More banging accompanies Yeji's yelling. Startles Winter again, she forgot Yeji was there. "I swear to god, Winter if you blew me off to screw Karina all weekend I'm going to hurt you."

She kicks the bottom of the door and the mention of Karina's name jolts Winter out of her stupor. She rushes off the couch to open the door. Shit, she forgot about her plans with Yeji.

"Yu, if you're in there, Winter and I have a standing date to study for my evidence final and I will not be forgotten, so help me!"

Winter opens the door and pulls Yeji inside before she realizes what's happening. Her face is a mix of confusion and anger as she looks around the room.

"Jesus, Kim... what the fuck happened here? Are you sick?"

"No," Winter's voice is ragged from the tears and from not speaking out loud to anyone since she left the hotel room over a day ago.

"What is... going on?"

"Nothing." Winter's voice sounds shaky even to her own ears and she tries to hide it. "Sorry I forgot about our plans."

"Yeah, no... don't worry about it. Um, are you okay?"

Yeji's gentle concern finally gets to Winter and she's crying again despite her best attempts to fight it. She shakes her head and Yeji pulls her into a strong hug, her arms fierce around Winter's shoulders.

"I'm gonna fucking punch her so hard."

"It wasn't-" Winter stops, swallows the thick coating on her tongue. "It was me. I fucked up."

"Winter," Yeji's voice is soothing and her arms feel safe.

"I did. I... fuck, I'm an idiot."

She cries onto Yeji's shoulder for a while, and Yeji doesn't loosen her hold for a second.