bloodied crown - hyungwonho

14: What now?

It wasn't completely untrue, he did have the police force looking for Ilsang and whoever had been with him at the residence. It wasn't a rock-solid plan, considering that the only evidence they had was just some CCTV footage but it would be enough to give them time to regroup and plan ahead just so they can avoid even more casualties.

Death was inevitable in this fight, but if they could just reduce the death total by a few people, he'd be more than happy.

"Can you tell me one thing, Hyung?" Jooheon requested quietly and Hyungwon shrugged his shoulders a little bit. He didn't know how much he wanted to share of the events. Eventually, he just nodded. "He wasn't... He didn't go alone, right? You found Kyun before..." The man slowly trailed off, trying to maintain eye contact whilst Hyungwon was doing his damn finest in order to eradicate it.

"No. I was there as long as I could. I couldn't go in the operation room but I was there." Hyungwon replied truthfully, drawing in a deep breath. He heard the other whisper a quiet "thank god" before nodding his head.

Another moment of silence fell upon the two men and Hyungwon was running through the timeline of events. All the moments where he could have done something different. He should have grabbed medical supplies from the glove compartment of the car before dashing out. Maybe that could've helped save the youngest of them. Maybe he should have taken a different, faster route to the residence.

Maybe then Changkyun would be alive and not lying in a cold morgue.

"Hey," Jooheon called out for him, placing both hands on his shoulders. The action brought Hyungwon back to the present, meeting the other's glossed-over eyes. "We'll be fine." the attempt at trying to lighten up the mood was pathetic, but Hyungwon would never say that out loud to the other, so he just nodded his head. "I know we will," he replied, unsure but he left that unmentioned.

He knew the group would be okay. While they lost a higher-up, no assets were lost other than what weapons and gadgets had been on Changkyun. They could still fight decently, even while mourning. But Jooheon? He'd lost a man who was practically his younger brother. A man who knew what to do in almost any situation and acted way older than he was since day one.

Then again, Hyungwon didn't know about himself. 

Sure, he could pretend he was fine and most people wouldn't even realize that he was a mess. He'd learned to hide any conflicting feelings over the years, the older folk in the group didn't take lightly to cry-babies; imagine the shit storm when their leader is incapable of keeping himself in check. Even so, it was hard to admit that what he'd witnessed was probably the most if not one of the most haunting things he'd ever seen. Maybe it was just the fact that it was Changkyun. Who he'd been close to since they were kids, just like Jooheon.

He knew it would take weeks, if not months, to erase the image from his mind. Maybe a lifetime to try and stop it from coming back up when he tries to rest.

Hyungwon licked his lips a little bit, brushing a hand through Jooheon's hair gently. "You should go to bed. It's been a long day," he said, sighing a little bit. "Get Minhyuk and just, cuddle him to death, I don't know." Jooheon eyed him a little, taking a step back as if analyzing him. What? Did he say something wrong?

"You're not mad at him?" He asked and the older fell quiet immediately. He swallowed a bit, thinking through his words just trying to keep it civil for now. "I will have to assess the situation tomorrow. Get all the recordings we have and possible bodycam footage to see how everything actually played out," he explained, picking at his cuticles before huffing and slumping his shoulders in defeat. "Right now... I don't have the energy to be angry at anybody. I want to just... Crash."