Little imagines b.e.

Self care

"Billie?" I turn to the side of me on the bed. We were watching The Little Mermaid and she had fallen asleep. I didn't want to wake her but it was getting late and she needed to take a bath. "Bils?" I gently shake her. "Mhmm!" She whines and covers her face. "Baby, you still need to take a bath. It's getting late, almost 9." "No wan bath." "C'mon baby, you didn't take one last night." She opens her eyes and yawns. "Can I play with my toys?" "Of course honey." A smile appears on the girl's face. "Alright now let's get up." Billie smiles and stares. Wanting to be carried. I get out of bed and scoop her up earning a giggle. I sit her down on the bathroom counter while I fill up the tub. "Mommy?" "Yes?" "C-Can you put lotion on me after?" "Of course baby." She squeals with excitement. "I put your favorite lavender oatmeal bubble bath." "Yay!!" She claps. Once the tub was filled up, I stopped the water and turned around. "Alright Bils, let's get you in the bath." I help her get down from the counter and undressed. "Toys?" "Oh right, sorry I forgot." I grab them from a container near the sink and put them in. "Do you have to potty first?" There was no answer. She stared at me. "Do you? Yes or no?" She shakes her head. "Are you sure?" "Uhh I dunno." "Okay well just try then I'll get you in the bath." I help her take her pull ups off and realized she went. "Okay well I guess not..." She giggles and goes into the bath. Playing with her plastic blue boat. "Look mommy!!" "Aww wow!!" I kneel down grabbing a wash cloth starting to wash her back. She starts splashing and giggling. "Hey baby, can you stop that? Some of the water is spilling out." She pouts giving me puppy dog eyes. "You can still play but don't splash too much or mommy has to clean up after and I won't be able to put the lotion on you til later." "Noooo!!!" "Alright then play nicely." She nods and plays with her toy boats and ducks. "Mommy?" "Hmm?" "Do you love me?" "Of course baby, why do you think I don't?" She shrugs. "Hey what's the matter?" "I-it's just sometimes I f-feel weird." "Aw baby I love everything about you okay?" I cup her cheek smiling at her. She looks like she wanted to cry. She nods. "I want to get out." Billie now talking as her big self. "Hey hey, what's going on? Don't you want me to put lotion on you?" She stays quiet and looks down, sniffling. I decide to not say anything and wait til I'm done giving her a bath.

She gets out of the tub and I wrap a towel around her, squeezing tight. Trying to get her to smile. She slightly smiled and walked to the bedroom. I follow her and she begins dressing herself in her big clothes. She sits on the bed staring at the wall. "Hey babe, talk to me." I sit next to her. She shrugs. "There has to be something going on, hmm?" I start brushing her hair.  "I-I just been feeling sad." Her voice cracks.  "Aww no baby, it's okay, what's going on that's making you sad?" "Voices in m-my head-d.. tel-ling me I-I'm worthless.. a-and you don't love me-e I know it's no-t true b-but- I cut her off pulling her into my arms. She cries harder in my chest like she's been holding back for awhile. "Shhh Billie, I'm here, let it all out." I rub her back. "Breathe baby." I hear her start to breathe fast like she's hyperventilating. "Hey hey take deep breaths with me." She couldn't calm down. I reached for her inhaler on the bed side table. I help her use it a few times until her breathing goes back to normal. "There you go." I rub her back. She smiles and starts crawling into my lap making little noises. She was starting to regress again which made me relieved. "My pretty baby." I caress her check. She blushes and giggles. "There's that beautiful smile I love seeing!" She puts her fingers in her mouth. Normally I wouldn't let her do that but I didn't want her to get upset again. "Here let me put on your favorite lotion." She smiles and nods excitedly. "Hmm do you wanna change first?" She nods. I take out a pull up and a matching plaid pajama set. I help her get undressed and into her little clothes. She claps excitedly. "Alright now let's get that lotion on you so we can cuddle and sleep!" She crawls onto the bed and I start massaging her favorite lavender baby lotion into her skin. "'Fank chu mommy!!" She says while sucking her thumb. "You're welcome honey." By the end of it, her eyes were closing and she was fighting her sleep. "Alright let's get some sleep." She sleepishly nods and yawns. I clean up everything and get into bed next to her. "Good night baby, I love you." I kiss her cheek. She softly says "love you too." Before finally drifting to dream land.