Captive (Joe Goldberg x Rhys Montrose)

17

Why? Why does it have to be you?

Putting a clean shirt on a man I knocked out should not be affecting me in the slightest, not after you tried to kill me and kept me prisoner. But here I am. Wondering why you have to look like that when you sleep. God, I love watching you sleep. I'll never get to tell you that. I won't let myself.

"I've thought about it. And... The smart option would be to kill you."

I say this the moment he wakes up. The watched has become the watcher. He smiles instantly, looking unbothered by the ropes tied around him. Unsurprising considering there's a substance in his bloodstream that wasn't there before.

I... Sort of... Drugged him. In my defence, I need his brilliant mind switched off right now.

"Oh, please. If you wanted to, you would have already. You've had time."

"Maybe I want you to suffer."

"Whatever it is that there is between us... You cannot deny our bond. Our connection." His eyes rake over my face and figure, fluttering shut as an expression of pure ecstasy crosses his face. I force myself to swallow, then - with much effort - I look away.

"Stop distracting me."

"Sorry. All I can think of right now is the feeling of your chest against mine... I can't believe you kissed me. Of all the surprises, Joe... I think that was my favourite. The choking very much included. I believed that would be the last time I opened my eyes... What a way to go. Right in your arms."

"Like I was saying. The smart option would be killing you... But I don't want to do that. So here's what I'm thinking. I'll leave. As planned. And you will stay the hell out of my life forever. Keep London. Heck, keep England. I'll never come back. And we can pretend none of this ever happened. Agreed?"

"Maybe you can. But me? I'll look for you, Joe. And I will find you. You know I will. You understand me well enough to know I won't be able to let this go. I'll chase you to the ends of the earth if I have to."

"To... Kill me?"

"Or kidnap you again. Depending on my mood. I... Don't want you to leave me. Ever. Even in death. Is that so wrong?" He has on a sardonic smile as he watches me. Wicked and curious. He wants to know how I'll respond. He's itching to find out what choices I make in this moment. "There's only one way to get rid of me, Joe. And you'd have to kill me to find out."

"I hate you. I was trying to leave today to avoid stupid options like that."

"It was always going to have to be one or the other, darling... At least, that's what I thought. But to tell you the truth? I don't think I could kill you anymore, Joseph."

"Even now? If you had your hands free, you wouldn't lunge at me?"

It's my turn to scoff. He's tied up to the bed. I have the upperhand, yet he acts like he still has all the control. What a ridiculous, psychotic man. Why did I have to like you from the moment I first met you?

"I would. But only because I want to taste you, again. I want to taste so much of you, Joseph Goldberg."

I roll my eyes. Completely avoiding the way my heart thumps. I want him to chase me. I want him to taste whatever he would like, too. I don't think I've ever wanted to submit to anyone's will so fast. I feel almost physically winded, giving the slightest pant that Rhys easily picks up with an - unnecessarily, I might add - alluring little glint in his eyes.

I have to be rational about this. I know what happens when I let my emotions rule over my logic. Half the people I've killed- no. Certainly more than just that amount would have been spared had I told my heart to simply shut the fuck up.