Arrangements (reader x jj x rafe)

II

Every time Rafe had the opportunity he would stand next to you and whisper things like: ''It won't be long now'' or ''I'm still waiting''. Like he was waiting for an answer even though you let him know that having sex with your step brother was absolutely not okay. He was constantly smirking at you, knowing that you wanted it and it made you hate yourself for it even more.

Then there was JJ. You didn't know if your relationship with JJ had worsened or gotten better. He was being mysterious, which wasn't really a thing for him to do. You felt like he hid shit from you and sometimes you weren't allowed in meetings, which made you mad. You tried to talk to him about it but he always avoided the questions. Everytime JJ acted suspicious you were afraid that he knew. That he knew about you and Rafe and now he felt uncomfortable and disgusted with you. But how could he know? There was absolutely no way. Unless Rafe...the psychopath...no, it couldn't be. Besides, at the moments he was there, he was extremely sweet and caring and, well, clinchy. So he didn't despise you just yet.

This situation was extremely confusing for you and you wondered how you were ever going to survive the summer holidays like this, with Rafe constantly on your back whenever you even looked at JJ.

Luckily, the moments you had with JJ were great. He liked to sit with you and wrap his arms around you. He also liked hugging you and you weren't complaining at all. One time when Sarah and John B were 'hanging out' and Kiara and Pope were cleaning the shores, you and JJ sat on John B's bed. He had his arm around you and you leaned on his shoulder. He smiled down at you and you felt your heart speed up. God this man was so cute by just breathing.

''I like being with you like this y/n. Makes me feel so...calm.'' You laughed. ''Calm? You? Even without a blunt?'' JJ laughed at that, showing off his crooked teeth which you found just adorable. ''Okay I have to admit that my heart is kind of hammering out my chest right now. You see y/n, I really like you.'' You blushed. ''Really?'' JJ bit his lip, his blue eyes turning from you to the room and back. Looking for anyone nearby, but there was no one.

''Yeah, I've been thinking about it and I don't say this to a lot of people. I really like you.'' You smiled, your heartbeat getting faster. ''Well, kiss me then idiot.'' JJ grinned and gently grabbed the side of your face, pulling you in for a kiss. You hummed and grabbed his shoulder, your fingers playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. He slipped his tongue inside your mouth and you let your eyes fall close in bliss. Taking in the smell of the ocean and the slight hint of sweat. So different from how Rafe smelled.

Fuck, there he was again. Invading your mind. You tried to focus on how JJ's lips felt against your own, but it was hard.

You felt his hand grab your waist, pulling you closer. He slipped his hand under your top, playing with the strings of your bikini. His mouth moved down to your jaw and you started to panic. Rafe was still in the back of your mind. You didn't want this, not like this. JJ should know. But what? What should he know? How did you explain if you didn't understand yourself?

''JJ-''. You pushed at his shoulders, but JJ was too focused on kissing hickeys on your neck and his hand moved to the front, cupping your breast. Your breath hitched and you pushed him harder. ''JJ stop!'' JJ stopped and looked up in shock, taking his hands off you. ''What's wrong? I thought- I thought you wanted to-'' You rubbed your face, not knowing what to do. ''I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I like you too, but then there's this thing and it's holding me back and I don't know what to do-'' JJ interrupted you. ''Wait wait wait. Thing? What thing? Y/n you gotta tell me what's going on.'' Your chest suddenly felt tight and your throat dry. ''Maybe I can fix it? If it's about the meetings I'm sorry, I had to discuss you with my friends, I didn't want to shut you out or anything-''

''It's Rafe.'' You couldn't stop yourself before you said it, guilt immediately washing over you. JJ frowned. ''Rafe? As in your psycho step brother Rafe?'' You sighed, wrapping your arms around your legs. ''He doesn't want me to be with you huh? If he's bothering you I'll get the gun, not to harm him, just to scare him a little of course-'' You didn't want to admit it but in that moment you knew that you had feelings for Rafe. Not as you did with JJ, but they were definitely there.

''No no no JJ. It's worse than that. So much worse.'' You dropped your head on your arms. There was no way JJ was going to understand you if you couldn't even understand yourself. You were doomed and felt so bad for JJ. He had just confessed his feelings for you.

''Okay first I want to apologize for what I'm going to say. And second of all, this is going to sound absolutely insane and it's probably going to be over between us after this but I need you to know.'' You turned to look JJ in the face and he looked concerned but then smiled at you. ''I'm used to stuff y/n, I'm sure it can't be that bad.'' You gave him a quick smile before you swallowed and turned to look at your arms. ''Well, you see, me and Rafe kind of have this thing . I don't really know what it is, but turns out I grew feelings for him because of this thing .'' JJ frowned. ''You have a thing? And you have feelings for your step brother? Rafe?! Are we talking about the same guy cause last time I checked the Rafe I know is an absolute douche-'' You shushed him, not wanting the whole neighborhood to know.

You rubbed your face again, feeling distressed. It sounded even more stupid when he said it like that. ''I know I know. I don't know what it is, okay? I'm like super confused and I don't know.'' JJ sighed and slouched back against the headboard. You turned to look at him carefully. ''Are you mad?'' JJ looked back at you, his eyes focused. ''Not mad, it's not like you can do anything about those feelings. Just...super confused.'' You chuckled dryly. ''Yeah me too.''

You two sat in silence for a while, JJ probably processing what you just said. ''So...this thing between you two...what is it? Like, do you make out or what?'' You blushed. You hadn't expected him to ask that, but of course he did. ''Uhhhh, well we only kissed once? Without consent so it doesn't really count. And he confessed that he wanted to have...well, sex with me. It's never been the same since.''

JJ hummed. ''What a dick. I can't believe you got feelings for him. Also, just to be clear. You do realize that he's your step brother right?'' You felt your face turn red again and you hid behind your hands. ''Yeah I know all of that.''

JJ laughed and pushed your shoulder teasingly. ''No shade, I'm not kink shaming you or anything. I'm just figuring out why .'' You glared at him. ''It's not a kink . And he can actually be really sweet you know?'' JJ rolled his eyes. ''Yeah sure. To both of that. I still think he's the biggest douche on this island but if you think differently I'll accept that. It's just, I don't know what to do in this situation. I still like you, but if you like both of us, I don't think that's going to be enough for me.'' You sighed. Of course you had expected that. You were glad that JJ was being honest, although he probably wanted to punch the shit out of Rafe right now.

You bit your lip and looked up at JJ. He smiled. ''Look, why don't you think about it? Maybe you'll know who to pick after two weeks. Let me know by then and I'll be waiting for you during that, yeah?'' You smiled at the blonde and wiped a tear that you just noticed rolling down your cheek. JJ smiled back and wiped another tear. ''You'll be okay cupcake. Just follow your heart. But I just want to say...Rafe is crazy. He can be dangerous.'' You nodded. ''Yeah I know.''