Not That Interested

Chapter 37: The One With The Tattoos

I smiled plastic, while playing the hostess role. The venue looked breathtaking against the late sunset of the beach, the Karachi shore-line could be mesmerizing on occasions. I could smell the live barbecue we had arranged; the curious mix of coals and spice mixing with the earthy, salty beach air. Adiba and Ali eschewed any stage area for the party, and simply walked around hand-in-hand, thanking guests, and chatting up acquaintances. Both of them were so obviously smitten with each other, they were in their own little universe. My brother looked dapper in his smart penguin suit, and Adiba looked adorably petite next to his tall frame, her hair and makeup was flawless, despite Mom's reservations. A couple of hours into the party, Shehzer still hadn't arrived; I kept repeating to myself that it was better if he didn't show up today.

I managed to avoid most annoying busy-body Aunties, but one of them was deadly persistent. Apparently, her son was an up-and-coming "Manager" at a Multi-National firm, and she was hunting for a Rishta (proposal) for him. Usually weddings are the designated hunting ground of predators like her, and I could see her stalking several of my female cousins, before she settled her cap for me and accosted me during dinner. I tried to be evasively polite, but some people just don't realize when they should stop speaking!!

"My son's salary is more than 3 Lac Rupees." She loudly announced for my benefit, cunning kohl-rimmed eyes sweeping me from head-to-toe. EMV is in full bitch mode; 'Pity all that money cannot buy you class. Or IQ points.'

"Mashaallah." I mutter politely, trying not to pull a face at her.

"He just got a Honda Accord from his office recently..."

EMV bites; 'Why don't you sit in it and drive it?. . .straight into the ocean!'

"Mmmhmm.." I hum back.

"My son graduated just last year from LUMS....Where did you go to university?"

When she hears about my art school degree, she tuts disappointingly."Arts? didn't you get in anywhere else dear? such a waste of money these pricey art schools are! what's the future of art in this country I ask you?...None!" I refrain from pointing out that the purpose of education shouldn't be just to earn money, I doubt it will make sense to her capitalist-driven mindset.

EMV cracks her knuckles; 'Oh no she di-int! Game is ON!'

"...I heard that you're doing a job somewhere? My son doesn't want his wife to work of course, women should spend their energies at home..."

I grit my teeth against saying something rude. Must. Not. React.

"...Can you handle yourself in the Kitchen? Most career girls are reluctant to set foot inside the place, how on earth are they going to take care of their husbands I ask you?..."

Lord give me strength to survive this anti-feminist steam-roller! SHE JUST WON'T STOP!

I keep nodding mechanically as the mother-in-law from hell harps on about her son. As far as she is concerned, the sun rises and sets on his Senior-EXECUTIVE-Manager ass. 'Can you die already? Please?' EMV begs on her knees.

"...It's a good thing you're slender, My son hates fat girls! Why can't girls nowadays maintain their bodies for their prospective spouses?...Do you use fairness creams? I quite like your skin tone...My son looks like Fawad Khan..."

I snort into involuntary laughter at this latest statement, and she glares suspiciously at me.

"I think you should meet him, because you sound like you don't believe me."

Oh HELL NO! I try putting her off, but she has a vice-like grip on my arm, as she drags me towards a group of suited men chatting over dessert plates.

She singles out a short skinny guy for my inspection.

"This is my son Bilal!..Bilal this is Amin's daughter, Mina..." She not-so-subtly nudges him in my direction. I feel like a sacrificial goat on Eid-Ul-Azha , as he nods curiously at me.

I gape at the thoroughly ordinary guy in front of me. Fawad Khan? MY ASS!

EMV is dying with suppressed sobs; 'HOW CAN SHE DO THIS TO FAWAD? Evil WITCH!'

He smiles politely up at me. UP, because I tower over him in my heels. He seems decent enough, if he could muzzle his mother for the rest of his married life, maybe some desperate girl might just accept him.

I have to escape this scrutiny! both mother and son, are making me extremely nervous with their creepy smiles, and probing questions. How to escape HOW?

I end up blurting out; "How do you feel about tattoos?"

They gape at my body, horrified, as if I am hiding some serious ink under my gold sheath dress. Good. I smile inwardly.

"Uh..I-Uh...tattoos are...a bit much no?" The guy clears his throat nervously.

I wave my hand airily; "Oh, but most art people are getting tattoos nowadays...Of course they are also into hard-core drugs, Marijuana, Meth, Roofies.....HEY! you're a business grad no? How do you feel about legalizing the drug industry?"

They are staring open-mouthed at me, as if I just confessed to Benazir Bhutto's murder. I smile back innocently, trying not to giggle at my plan.

Mother Hen finally decides to fly in protectively over her precious chick. She actually stands to move in front of him, probably to protect him from my evil depravity. Her narrow-eyed glare fans my face; "You girl, should learn to curb your thoughts! you might just find yourself single and alone for the rest of your life! Nobody in our culture wants such a free-thinking bride! You-"

I have reached a boiling point at this level; so I feel no shame in out-rightly lying,

"I am already engaged to someone thank you every much! but either way, I'd rather die alone and single, than marry your version of Fawad Khan!" I smile apologetically at the guy; "No offense dude, but your Mom needs to get her eye-sight checked."

"LIAR! You are not engaged! I just came to know about your break-up. Apparently, good looks aren't enough to keep a fiance, Hmph! I can see why he left you. Who would marry someone with a tongue like yours?" She hisses back at me.

Just as I could fully comprehend the hurt, and hypo-criticism laced in her words, I sensed someone come up behind me. I recognized his delicious, clean cologne/after-shave scent before his arm came to rest possessively on my shoulder. He was pissed off. I gulped at his angry expression, momentarily forgetting to be embarrassed about being caught in a lie. Even in my heels, I feel dwarfed next to him. The warmth of his closeness is playing havoc on my nerves.

"I would marry her. In fact I AM marrying her." He gently squeezed my shoulder in warning, as I opened my mouth to protest his statement. "I'm Shehzer. Mina's fiance. Is there a problem here?"

I am not sure who looks more stunned, me or Psuedo-Fawad and his mother. I vaguely register their embarrassed apologies; this is too surreal for me. It takes a full minute for me to come to my senses. I shrug off his arm, and grit back to him; "What do you think you're doing?" I glare up at him.

He throws me a devastating half-smile. 'DON'T MELT NOW MINA! BE STRONG!!' I give myself a mental pep-talk.

"Saving you of course...again. So, how have you been?...Fiancee?" he winks.

EMV sighs at this, throwing up her hands in defeat; 'You walked straight into this one sister.' Ugh. did I mention, I hate it when she's right?

A/N:

Hiya! :D

It took me quite a while to get done with this one. Exams have started and we're facing a brief hiatus here. I'm loving the support you guys have shown this book. Currently, it is ranking at #7 in it's category, which is HUGE for me.

So, please Do keep voting and commenting, if you like what you read!

Photo in description: Adiba and Mina's Valima dresses.