Card of Heart

Chapter 16 - Together

"I'll be fine," he answers, automatically.

"You almost died," Obi-Wan retorts, "And I do not believe you have been 'fine' for a long time."

Anakin looks down. He doesn't know what to say to that. It is true. Frankly, he doesn't know the last time he ever was. Maybe the last time he was in his mother's arms. But he can hardly say any of that to Obi-Wan. Not even if they hadn't been separate for an entire year, long enough that it's making everything... even more complicated.

"I saw what Sidious was like," Obi-Wan continues, after a pause.

Anakin really doesn't want to talk about this. Any of this. He feels completely emotionally exhausted, and he hasn't recovered from how close he came to watching Obi-Wan and Ahsoka be killed in front of him. By Sidious who he... He's glad that he's gone, that they're free. (So, why is there a very small part of him that still misses Palpatine?) "I thought he would be... better than this."

"I was referring to how he... treated you, but yes. Why did you join him?" he asks.

"I... was having visions," Anakin explains, slowly. It's not as if telling Obi-Wan will make him reject Anakin any more than he already has, right? "Of Padme dying in childbirth. Ahsoka saw it too. I... I couldn't let that happen."

"You thought becoming a Sith would stop that from happening?"

"Palpatine promised to help her. I didn't know what else to do. Master Yoda already refused to help me." It still fills him with bitterness, and he's always let that fuel him. It's not so easy when he's facing Obi-Wan, though. He wants to pretend that it doesn't matter, but he doesn't want to give his master a reason to reject him entirely. "He told me of a Sith Legend, and the next thing I knew, the Jedi were committing treason. I didn't know what else we could do."

"He was the Sith. We had to stop him," Obi-Wan retorts.

"I saw Windu about to kill him unarmed," Anakin argues, "It – he was about to break the Code, and the laws of the Republic, and I didn't know what else to do."

"And your solution was to break the Code even more?"

Guilt twists sharply in him, and he looks away. It's – a constant part of him now, and he knows he can't let it go. It's why he can't let go of the Dark Side either. "I – will not excuse my actions, Master."

Obi-Wan shifts next to him. He still feels upset, and... that's not surprising. He probably always will be. It hurts, but Anakin doesn't know what he can do about it. "What do you intend to do with the Empire?"

Right. Right. He hasn't even had time to think about that yet. "I – I don't know."

"Ahsoka said you would probably turn it over to Padme." It sounds like that's what he wants, and Anakin doesn't really know what else he would do, anyway. Although he knows that Padme won't leave it an Empire, and he doesn't know if that's really a good thing or not. Sidious was a terrible Emperor, but the system could have worked. It's truthfully the only thing that kept the galaxy from shattering completely in the aftermath of the Clone Wars.

"I will talk to her about it," Anakin decides finally. It's almost surreal, having Obi-Wan next to him again. He didn't realize how much he missed him. He never thought he would have this again. He – he doesn't know how Obi-Wan has been or anything. It doesn't feel like he should have the right to ask after everything that's gone down between them – after how he betrayed everything Obi-Wan taught him, but...

"What are you going to do now?" Anakin asks, hesitantly.

"The Jedi are still considered traitors," Obi-Wan replies, voice hard.