Isabelle Reviews (CLOSED FOR NOW)

Guardians of Directions (Fanfiction, Fantasy)

Review date: February 19, 2023

Author: Parul18s

FIRST IMPRESSION: 5/5

COVER: 4/5

TITLE: 2/5

The first thing I noticed is the moon slightly sheltered by the plant on the rightmost side of the cover. There's something about the moon that I like. But with the literal definition aside, the moon actually represents eternity. So, the impression I had of it was something regarding time or something like that. And honestly, it was made better when I took in the sight of subjects standing under the moon. Their positions are just so satisfying and even the lighting is spot and professionally made. I'd also say that the cover is relatively believable. It doesn't look like an uncoordinated collage.

But what kind of bothered me were the designs and sizes. The placement of the title is good, but the font and design didn't really stand out to me. Sadly, it really doesn't complement the beauty of the cover. There's the text below it, and I started questioning its purpose since it was too small and unreadable even as I squinted. The author's name could be made better too. But overall, it's really not bad. I like the background. The text just didn't seem to work for me.

The title though isn't bad. "Guardians" sounded like keepers or protectors to me. So it equated to something like "Keeper of Directions." I'm definitely not sure what it's supposed to mean or what its goal was and it made me scratch my head at first, but I wanted to continue.

BLURB: 5/10

I understood how deep the blurb is and how it intends to be flowery. I also get the message, so there's no problem with that. I know what the author is trying to express. In fact, I really am attracted to short blurbs if you ask me. However, what bothers me is that the grammar, punctuation, and sentence construction are off.

"I, Elapatra, the Rakshas daughter, curse seven deities, the way I severed from my son. You seven will also break up from your loved ones and reincarnate in the land of death."

Instead of using that, the author may consider this instead:

"I, Elapatra, the Rakshas daughter, will curse seven deities the way I severed ties with my son. Seven of you will also drift from your loved ones and reincarnate in the land of death."

Please be careful with the words used as well (the wording). "Break up from" isn't quite uncommon to me (plus I don't think it's grammatically acceptable.) and it's pretty much associated with "breaking up with" a partner or a friend. In my opinion, it's easier and more comprehensible to say "drift" or "separate." Using those may be more appropriate in this case.

PLOT: 14/20

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 11/20

DESCRIPTION: 12/15

WRITING STYLE: 7/10

First off, before saying anything about the plot, please don't put dialogues in bold letters. It's set in stone to not write dialogues in bold letters, so I urge the author to never do it.

In terms of the plot though, I'm already fascinated by the concept of brave Belinda being rooted. The downside of it is that I was at sea and there are many characters introduced at once. I suggest regulating their roles for each chapter first.

Honestly, I found the events kind of odd as well. She's in a playground and hears something. A black figure with horns appears out of nowhere and pulls her to the bushes. Mantras are being chanted and all, but I found it not necessary when the black figure with horns was attacked as well by being spit on. Correct me if I'm wrong since this is strange according to my understanding.

On character development though, I felt that the characters are sort of one-dimensional. The descriptions were becoming better at some points though. It just has to be ironed out well and of a piece. The writing style was okay, but I believe it could still be improved. Sometimes the dialogues are exaggerations as well such as "if you disrespect a grain of wheat, your following generations will starve to death." I don't know if it's intended to be that hyperbolic, but it's too much for my liking.

I also observed how there's a purposive culture gap, but I don't think the #Snakewoman was credible enough for Belinda to ignore. Belinda to me is determined and also a savage. So for her not to pay heed to whatever social media is makes me doubt it.

I wouldn't really say the pacing is quick. It's more like skipping scenes that could be written moderately and strategically in between instead.

GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION: 7/10

As stated earlier, there were bothersome flaws in the language. Try to go over the blurb again and identify the errors. I'd like to point out that the tenses must be paid attention to as well as the punctuation.

OVERALL: 67/100

I still believe this book has really great potential. But still, some improvements and a more realistic plot will do!

Thank you for trusting me in reviewing your book!