Producer: alright I guess that's better.
Writer: so he has Harry live with an abusive family for a decade and then springs all this stuff on him when he's ten or eleven Years old.
Producer: wait and that's better?
Writer: that's what Dumbledores going with yeah, so anyway. Harry is now about to turn eleven or ten whatever I don't care anyway he starts getting these strange letters from a Wizarding school called Hogwarts but his family doesn't want him to read those letters.
Producer: oh and why not?
Writer: because they hate him so much they want him to... Stay around.... Or whatever...
Producer: wait that makes no sense at all!
Writer: anyway the uncle starts destroying the letters and they keep showing up and no one will let him read one.
Producer: it's too bad they don't have a letter that tells everything to you, that would be so much easier.
Writer: Actually, they do. They're called Howlers!
Producer: Well then why didn't they use one!?
Writer: I don't know, so the family is so mad about the letters that they run away from their house and live in a shed in the middle of the forest.
Producer: I feel like that's an overreaction!
Writer: because everytime they move Harrys bedroom they somehow know the bedroom and written it's location on the letters.
Producer: actually nevermind that is a great reaction.
Writer: anyway Hagrid shows up and tells Harry he's a wizard.
Producer: aww such a cute sweet moment.
Writer: and takes him from his family...
Producer: Very good idea, totally not illegal!
Writer: yes very, so anyway Hagrid takes Harry to get him all his stuff for Hogwarts, and he gets an owl named Hedwig.
Producer: aww that's cute!
Writer: yeah he is but don't get too attached!
Producer: wait what?
Writer: What?!!! So anyway, he also goes to a place called Olivanders, which is a store that makes and sells wands. And completely wrecks the place!
Producer: does he get in trouble?
Writer: no that's just this guy's way of selling wands, just letting children destroy his shop until they find a wand that works.
Producer: very normal and totally not concerning business strategy.
Writer: of course, so anyway he eventually gets on the train to Hogwarts by running through a magical brick wall.
Producer: ah yes I remember going to school everyday... Running through a brick wall to get on the train.
Writer: anyway he meets a kid named Ron Weasley and he's a redhead.
Producer: alright so normal friendly redhead kid, nice!
Writer: and he has a pet rat on his lap just sitting there.
Producer: oh what? Eww Why....
Writer: It sounds weird and gross. But in a later book we find out that the rat is actually a middle aged man named Peter Pettigrew!
Producer: That somehow made it way worse!
Writer: oh yeah I guess that does make it worse. Anyway, it turns out Ron is poor so Harry buys all the candy off of the cart for just the two of them.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone Pitch Meeting
Start from the beginning
