her handmaiden // a lexa x you short story

three

Titus scoffed, rubbing his head with irritation. I ignored him as I met Lexa's eyes, hoping she knew I was there for her if she needed me to be. Though we both knew there wasn't much I could do. Still, it didn't hurt to have a friend close by.

"Everything is fine," she assured me, and I couldn't tell if she was being honest or not. "Titus and I were just discussing the clan meeting tomorrow. The first one where the ambassadors from all clans will be coming together to discuss a potential alliance. Queen Nia of Azgeda will be attending, to everyone's dismay. It took me by surprise is all."

"Seriously, Lexa?!" Titus asked with surprise, and I didn't blame him. I was certain she was sharing too much with me, and I had no idea why.

"Am I not allowed to confide in my handmaiden?" she asked him with a quirked brow, ever so casually.

If the Earth swallowed me up right now, it wouldn't be too soon.

"That's what I'm here for," Titus replied with a calm voice. "Your advisor."

She pressed her lips together, looking down at the table full of papers and exhaling impatiently. I wanted to apologise for interrupting and causing even more tension between the two, but I figured that would make things worse, so I stayed quiet.

"Thank you for letting me know about the shirts," Lexa finally spoke, looking to me with a grateful expression. "You can go now."

"Of course, Heda," I said, bowing before awkwardly exchanging looks with Titus and leaving.

Naturally, I began to think about Lexa as I went about the rest of my day, only seeing her a few times and never alone because she was busy preparing for the clan meeting tomorrow. It was clear that she was stressed and I understood why – her coalition proposal was huge, the first any Commander had initiated. If it went wrong, which there was a huge chance it could, then it would be her fault and hers alone. Despite that, she was much smarter than past Commanders and I didn't doubt her plan one bit. Some may argue that made me naïve or too dumb to understand the politics, but I didn't care.

It was later that day, well into the evening, when I stopped by her quarters to help her prepare for bed – she actually allowed me to do it sometimes – but when I got called in, I noticed she was sat on her couch looking over a bunch of scrolls and pages on the table before her.

"Are you ready for bed?" I asked dumbly, because it was very obvious she wasn't. She was still dressed in her day clothes and hadn't moved position since I delivered her dinner to her earlier.

"No, I still have work to do," she answered, not sparing me a glance.

A comment was on the tip of my tongue, but I held back and simply nodded before waiting to the side of the room. After a moment, she finally looked up and I noticed how exhausted she looked.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a sigh.

"I can't leave until you're ready to sleep," I explained.

"That's not necessary."

"It's my job," I pointed out.

"Well, I'll be up for a while."

I shrugged, standing my ground. There hadn't been a single night I hadn't prepared her for bed, or left until she was in bed, since starting as her handmaiden; it was a part of the job. A big part considering she was our leader and needed to rest.

She didn't say anything else except lean forward on her knees to rest her head in her hands momentarily. Again, a comment was on the tip of my tongue, but I reminded myself I was here as her handmaiden, nothing more. Of course, that didn't stop my impulsive thoughts from winning.