✔This Damned Thirst for Survival

201-224

The fire rises and goes out.

Jiang Luo's throat was clogged and he suddenly realised how devastated Lu Youyi would be if he told him about Teng Bi's death.

The most unacceptable thing in the world is a misunderstanding.

Who can tell?

Who could have known that the glance Wen Renlian blocked up would be the last one Lu Youyi might see of Teng Bi?

The mistake of missing it by mistake when you could have seen it can cause an instant emotional breakdown.

Jiang Luo felt he had some idea of what Teng Bi's last words meant when he said "If ...... forget about ......".

"How nice it would be if I could see him one last time ......"

"How nice it would be if I wasn't dead already ......"

"How nice it would have been if I had apologised earlier ......"

These four words are full of all the things Teng Bi did not say.

Jiang Luo's voice was a little muffled, "He's not with me ...... and he won't come out cold. I'll talk to you guys when I get back ......."

Wen Renlian could hear something wrong in his tone and he murmured, "Good."

Jiang Luo hangs up the phone, stands still for a while and goes to ask his host family to borrow a packet of cigarettes.

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When he heard the knock on the door, his face turned red with shame as he ran out, grabbing his trouser pocket with one hand and shoving the cigarette into Jiang Luo's hand with the other, stammering, "No, no need to return it."

Jiang Luo's worry was relieved when he returned to his room and met Chi You's gaze. Jiang Luo went to the bed and sat down casually, opened the cigarette case and smiled.

He lit his last cigarette and took a sultry drag. The cigarette was not a good one, it burned quickly and tasted choked, a puff could have taken off a section the size of a fingernail.

Chi You reached out, his pale fingers touching the cigarette, and Jiang Luo gave it to him.

The two men finish a cigarette together when Jiang Luo suddenly climbs into bed and squeezes Chi You, two equally brilliant faces staring at each other through the smoke.

The smoke obscures the subtle expression on Jiang Luo's face and the look on Chi You's.

The same can be said for covering up the vulnerability in a man's heart that he doesn't want to show.