It's the day, one year ago after the doctor delivered a heart breaking news. That he only got 1 year to live, today's his 365 days.
My boyfriend Taehyung has a cancer. A brain cancer. It got worse day by day, but one thing for sure. We cherished every moment with each other. We spent his 365 days with each other.
"I guess this is it, my love" my boyfriend suddenly said. "Love, I can't" with a shaking voice and weak heart I replied to Taehyung. "We already talk about this, love" my boyfriend Taehyung said. Staring at him brings so much pain, he has pale skin and dry lips, he looks so tired.
"But I still can't love, I can't, it hurts me so much" I'm on the verge of crying but I held back the tears that wanted to fall, I want to be strong in front of the love of my life. My life that I will about to lose.
He suddenly romove the promise ring the I gave him 1 year ago. "I wore your promise on my finger for one year, I'll wear your name on my heart til my last breath. Because you were my man, you were my only man forever."
Hearing those words from him is like torturing me. It kills me inside. "Just because we can't be together physically, doesn't mean I don't love you. Always remember, I'm on your side, my love. I will forever be on your side" he said.
"My love for you is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate us from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, my love for you is stronger than death, But if you have to go, then go. Go if it hurts. Go if it's time. Just go knowing you were loved, that I will never forget you, that you will live in my heart and my soul. Go knowing I love you purely, Taehyung, that you were an amazing lover of mine. Go knowing I told you all my secrets. Because you are the love of my life, my first, my greatest, and my last love." With a heavy heart I told him what I felt.
By that we didn't stop the tears who continuously fall from our tired eyes. It's the most painful thing that ever happened to us.
"Love, although I can't be with you to fulfill our dreams, to build a house and live together, to marry each other, to make family and to travel around the world. Please do it for us, don't let my absence distract you for persuing your or our dreams, do it for us and for yourself, try to move forward without my presence, just know that I will always be here beside you. I may leave you in physical but I'll always be on you heart. I will stay by your side, you will always be love by me. Til we met again, my love, take care of yourself and I will always be proud of you. Thank you for the memories we've shared, those are treasured by me. I love you, love." His last message before he leaves.
My tears just flows endlessly. So painful and I can't stop it. "I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day, my love. I love you very much and I'm so proud of you for fighting. I will forever love you my Taehyung, til we met again" with a heavy heart I let go those words.
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. Your memory feels like home to me. So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you.
It's been a month without him. I realized that he's my sun and when the sun has set, no candle can replace it.
To make one person the center of your world is bound to end in disaster. There are too many factors outside your control.
I'll be okay, but I can't be happy right now.
Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds, but no one can tell me what I’m supposed to do right now. Right now I can’t sleep. It’s right now that I can’t eat. Right now I still hear his voice and sense his presence even though I know he’s not here. Right now all I seem to do is cry. I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don’t know what to do with all this hurt right now. There's only on thing I know, I need him. But I can't have him now.
But I've learned something, the real definition of love. That when a loved one dies, one can maintain their identity in relation to the deceased and continue that person's legacy. Love transcends death. This because the meaning of a relationship, and the love one has for the deceased, continues.
Love is eternal, and doesn’t have to stop when the heart stops. It is a feeling, a passion, an expression, the rythm of beating heart, love is a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Love continues to live even after the death of the person. It lasts in the form of memories. In the great deeds done by the person. In the people who were close to that particular person. There are many forms of love, but whatever may be the form, its always special and it lives for ages.
You will forever be love by me, Taehyung.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
