Degrees Of Honor The Honor Series Book One

Chapter 20

As Travis sat up, he pulled me with him. Bringing me into his arms, he held me in silence while we watched the flames of the fire snap and crack. The heat between us radiates through the room. Lacing his fingers through mine, my head fell against his shoulder.

"I can figure out what I want for myself." He argues. "I know what I want. I know you've been through a lot. That's not what defines you but it does make you stronger."

Pressing my lips together tight, I wonder if he really means that. I want to stay here, just like this, in his arms. I want to know Jacob and I are safe and warm, but is it really possible? I could take what Travis is willing to give and cherish it, knowing that eventually it will end sooner than I would like. Knowing that he would leave, because I couldn't give him what he deserves.

It's not like I haven't warned him. It's not as if he's going into this unprepared for the situation he's getting into. Anthony won't back down until one of us is dead. Travis knows the kind of danger we're in and he's still here. He still wants to be here, with me.

Making my decision, whether it's right or not, it's what I want. Finally I reached for him. Slipping my arms around his waist, I hold onto him, desperately hoping this won't be another mistake.

"I'm not leaving you, Cassie." His fingers trace over my face and down my neck. The shiver it causes leaves me shaking. Does he know what he is getting into?

"I'm not afraid of him. I'm not afraid of your past. I don't live in the past. I'm going to take care of you and Jacob. I'm going to protect you." Travis assured me, softly whispering in my ear. "I have my own demons. I'm a work in progress too. That's not going to stop me. But we can't do this if you aren't with me."

"What if I mess up? What if you change your mind?" The questions, as insecure as they sound, are reasonable."What if I get you killed?"

"You won't." Travis reassured me, kissing me on the nose. "You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You're gonna get through this. You and I are going to move on and get through it together. I want you, but you have to let me in. Let me in, sweetheart. Lean on me just a little bit."

I nodded, my voice choked up in a sob. I want this too. I have to try. If I'm wrong, if he can't handle my baggage, if I can't get past it, At least I'll have the memories with him.

He's a good man. Travis will keep his word.

Travis

It seemed like we stayed here, holding each other, for hours. Cassie didn't move. She is going to need a lot of reassurance that I'm where I want to be. It won't be easy, the good things never are. But she's worth the fight.

If I thought she would agree, I'd send her away. The simple idea of Anthony getting his hands on her, burns my ass. It's not going to be simple, he's going to come after them full force. He's going to try to kill both of them. I just have to beat him to the punch.

I have to keep my temper in check. I've done everything I can think of to push the thoughts of what Anthony has done to Cassie out of my head. Nothing made the image in my head disappear. The vision of Anthony and his volatile temper forcing himself on Cassie, hitting her. It pissed me off.

Glancing down at my watch, it's 11:30 am. It is still early in the day. I have time to get Jacob from daycare and pick up the bed for Cassie. If she still wants that. I don't but this is her choice. Would it be best for her? I don't want to push, she's been pushed around enough. This is her choice.

"Do you still want me to get the bed? Or..." Pulling back from Cassie, I brushed the hair away from her face. "Will you share my bed with me?"

Sleepily, she looked up at me. She's calm now, relaxed. She's leaning against me holding on. I think she will be stronger now than when I found her a few hours ago. She should be okay to come with me to pick up Jacob. The last thing that child needs is to feel the anxiety from his mom. He's too young to understand hard things have been for his mother and the rough road she will have ahead of her. He's going to need both of us.