Hope We Meet Again

07 - Looking like the moon

The whole train ride was quiet. As the train moved steadily, rain pattered lightly on the glass and raced to the bottom. I was alone with my thoughts. With my face still burning, I started to hallucinate. A utopia, with him and the people I deeply cared for. I retraced all the memories, all those incidents that were silly, and those who don't get it.

I unconsciously smiled foolishly as I reminisced about the little things that I'd noticed. He suddenly appeared, standing in front of me. I didn't care what he would be under that mask, but for all I know, he radiates the energy of a person who has a good heart and soul. I slowly reached out to be in contact with him once more, to feel his warmth, to see his suntanned eyes, and to see the glint of adventure in them. I wanted to embrace everything. As my finger tips contacted his figure, his eyes spoke.

Smiling at me.

Then it was gone.

His eyes fell into a void. They became dull as I was unable to speak. What is happening? He crumbled right in front of me as I stared in disbelief. The disembodiment slowly creeped higher to the point where it was reaching his torso. My eyes shimmered from side to side as I tried to find anything to stop this from happening. My gaze looked at him once more, and my hand slowly left my side as I hovered next to his face. Why could I not touch him? My chest shook as I searched his eyes for a connection, a light in them.

Everything came emotionless; I staggered back, covering my mouth, holding back tears. His head tilted up to meet my gaze as the disembodiment continued to spread. I felt an uneasy atmosphere scattering to the surface as I froze there; I couldn't move. A single tear dropped from my eyes as it hit the ground. The remains of him were a mask of his face on the brink of deleting itself from existence. His voice echoed around me, drowning me in the deep trenches of the ocean. I shook my head in denial, begging for more time. The corner of his mouth tipped upward.

A hurt smile.

Streams of tears flowed down my face; I was crying uncontrollably. I couldn't differentiate whether they were happy or sad tears. What did I do wrong?

I woke up in a cold sweat; it was just a dream. I exhaled deeply as I looked out of my window. The moon shone brightly in the midnight sky. The moon was in its waning gibbous phase. I stared at it longingly; it reminded me of him. He was like the moon: all of him is seen, but only another part of him is hidden from view. I was like a lost star that people see from afar; however, the moon shines brightly through the midnight clouds, being subtly admired by all while the star is hidden from sight.

A star could never touch the moon, no matter how far apart they were in light years. It would wreak havoc and bring everything crashing down. I realised it. I kept thinking the moon was chasing me, but I was the one chasing it. I fell into a heap on my bedsheets as the moon continued to shine through the glassy window, reflecting its light on the mirror as I slowly fell deep into the abyss of my mind.

***

My eyes watered as I yawned; it was second period, mathematics. I took off my glasses as I rubbed my eyes. I adjusted my mask as I stared out at the blue sky. I saw the moon again, but there are no stars that could ever shine as brightly as the moon. I lightly smiled as I continued to stare as the room rose with whispers.

A burning sensation took place behind my head and neck. I felt a tingle as I turned around; he was staring at me while I was staring at the moon. His eyes reflected the glint from the window as he smiled at me. My heart raced as I snapped back to reality, quickly breaking the glint in his eyes as I faced the teacher at the front. She waved a bunch of papers in front of us. "All right, since everyone has been asking for their exams that we took in Term 3, here they are!" the teacher said enthusiastically. The class cheered as I prayed.