Beauty and the Bridesmaid

Chapter Three

At work on Monday morning, Taylor, one of the little girls who attends Toy Box Nursery, insists on playing weddings. Taylor is the bossiest four-year-old I’ve ever come across and sends some of the other children trawling through the dressing up clothes to find suitable wedding attire for all of them. She ends up in a big white sheet with a tiara on her head, whilst her choice of ‘husband’ gets a tie and a big top hat. The other girls who are serving as bridesmaids pick out colourful princess dresses. Maybe I should suggest that to Steph and Kerry. Instead of the aubergine a-line bridesmaids dresses they’d talked about, I could suggest we pick big Cinderella gowns. It would be worth it to see the looks on their faces.

I watch the group of kids hum the Wedding March and stumble over their vows until my manager notices I’m not really doing anything and I pretend to update some paperwork instead. Why must even my workplace remind me that Lela and Ash are getting married?

So far, Lela hasn’t made any reference to the fact that she’s engaged to my ex. Ash barely came up in conversation at all yesterday. I always knew Lela would be the type to have an ‘insert groom here’ wedding.

She could be marrying anyone. But she isn’t. She’s marrying Ash.

 It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if she’s erased it from her memory that I was the one who introduced them in the first place, and that he was my boyfriend at the time. But surely Ash must have mentioned it. He can’t have forgotten that we were once a couple. Oh God, what if it’s going to be turned into some funny little story to be used in the groom’s speech? Then not only will I be sitting at Lela’s wedding reception in a ridiculous dress surrounded by people I don’t know or don’t want to talk to, I’ll be the girl who Ash didn’t want to marry.

The only thing I’ve learned about Ash and Lela’s relationship is that they got engaged after only a year together. I can’t help but feel a little stung by the fact that I was with Ash for longer than that, even though we were just kids. Ash and I aren’t in contact anymore but I’ve spoken to Lela in the last twelve months and she never mentioned that she was back living in Wakefield or seeing Ash.

 I can just imagine her putting on her false posh voice and saying, “Oh, haven’t you heard? I’m marrying your ex! Isn’t it wonderful?”

And now she wants me to be her head bridesmaid and help her choose which shade of purple to have for her colour scheme and how to have her hair for the big day.

“You okay?” Stacey asks. She’s a fresh-from-school eighteen-year-old who’s just started at Toy Box Nursery.

“Fine.” I smile convincingly at her and poise my pen over my paper. I guess I must look like I’m daydreaming or something.

Watching Taylor and the other kids playing weddings is not really the problem. The problem is that I’ve agreed to go for drinks at Lela’s tonight to meet a few more of the wedding guests and I know that Ash will be there. But not the Ash I know. He’s Ash from Lela-and-Ash now. He’s the guy in the professional photo gazing at Lela adoringly. And I am not a part of that.

***

Lela lives in a sensible semi-detached house not too far away from where my flat is. I’ve probably passed her on the street before, her in a Karen Millen suit and high heels and me in my Toy Box Nursery tunic and flat shoes. The thing with Lela is she’s never been too fond of hard work. In York, she had a job as an events manager but God knows what she does now. Ash studied some sort of design course at university but I can’t imagine he earns enough to keep them both going.

I tug at the hem of the prettiest dress I own. It’s red with long sleeves and a jewelled neckline and cost a tenner down at the market. But Lela doesn’t have to know that, does she?

She answers my knock at the door, wearing an emerald-green dress that’s covered in big, round sequins and reminds me of the shiny fins on a mermaid’s tail. “Come on in,” she says, stepping back into the well-lit and neutrally decorated living room. “Everyone’s already here.” She nods at a few people I don’t recognise sitting on the cream leather sofas holding cocktail glasses, and leads me through into the kitchen at the back.

The old-fashioned country farmhouse style kitchen is quite an accommodating size, but there aren’t as many people here as I had expected. I can’t throw myself into a conversation with a group of strangers and laugh hysterically every few minutes as though I’m having a good time. There’s only Lela chatting idly to Steph and a couple of other women, and Kerry surrounded by men like usual.

I help myself to a glass of fizzy wine from a tray of them already prepared on the countertop and sip the cool liquid until I start to feel better. Standing there alone, I realise that I’m not just the girl who Ash didn’t want to marry; I’m the girl who nobody wants to talk to.

A tall man dressed in jeans with a dark shirt and a blazer breaks off from Kerry’s group and looks straight at me. It’s him. Ash is standing in Lela’s kitchen. Well, it’s probably his kitchen as well, isn’t it? He’s put on a bit of weight but he looks healthier for it and his light brown hair is styled in a different way. But it’s definitely him. I know it sounds stupid but I was kind of in denial that Lela really was marrying Ash before. Even though I’d seen that picture of them together, I was hoping that I’d get here and find out it was a different Ash.

But he’s the same person. And he’s heading in my direction.

“Jade! It’s so good to see you!” His voice sounds squeakier, as though he’s spent too much time with Lela.

I down the contents of my wine glass. “Hi,” I say meekly.

“How’ve you been?”

“Great!” I enthuse. “And how about you? Getting married!” I try to keep my tone neutral and casual but it’s difficult when I really want to scream at him for marrying my best friend and not telling me sooner.

“I know.” He glances over at Lela, who’s trying to fit the lid on a cocktail shaker. “Funny the way things are.” He shrugs as though he thinks that’s an acceptable explanation.

“And you proposed after only a year, huh?” I try and make my question sound conversational but my hurried utterance and high-pitched voice give me away.

“Lela and I never wanted to hurt you,” he says slowly. “But sometimes you just know, don’t you?” He hits me on the arm in a blokey sort of way. “What about you, anyway? Lela mentioned that you’re seeing someone!”

I might have mentioned it in passing to Lela that I’d been dating someone. By ‘dating’ I really meant that one horrible date with Carl. It wasn’t really a lie, was it? I was ‘dating’ when Lela called me. Anyway, I only said it so she couldn’t make a dig at my single status. I never expected her to pass that information on to Ash.

“Yeah well…you know…just dating.” I smile tightly and hope that Ash drops the subject.

“Why don’t you bring him to the wedding as your date?” Ash suggests.

I know I should think of an excuse. Bridesmaids don’t take dates to the wedding, do they? Isn’t it tradition for them to cop off with one of the groomsmen? But instead, I say, “That’s such a good idea, I’ll do that.”

How do I get myself into these situations?