The Sleepwalker Syndrome

chapter thirteen | the kids aren't alright

Sa isang iglap, may narinig akong kakaiba. Para bang may sumusunod sa aking mga yapak kaya agad akong huminto sa paglalakad at dumikit sa pader, hindi na baleng magmukhang isang butiki. 

"Anong ginagawa mo?"

Napakurapkurap ako at unti-unting lumingon, hindi alintana ang noo kong dumidikit sa pader. 

Naaninag ko ang pigura ng isang lalakeng may malaking pangangatawan. Dahil sa skinhead niyang buhok, nakilala ko kaagad ang hugis ng kanyang ulo. May suot din siyang dual flashlight sa kanyang leeg, kahugis ng headphones.

"B-Bogart . . .  " I laughed shakily. "Tried to blend into the wall, just in case you were some bad guy."

Suminghal siya. Na-imagine ko kaagad ang mukha niya na may isang mapanghamak na ngisi. "Alam natin pareho kung sino ang masama na nagbabait-baitan lang."

Nakaramdam ako ng panlulumo dahil sa kanyang sinabi. Alam ko ang ibig niyang sabihin . . . at naiintindihan ko ang galit na nararamdaman niya.

Umatras ako mula sa pader at umayos ng tayo bago unti-unting humarap sa kanya. It was easier to keep my head up because I couldn't see his face clearly.

"Bogart . . . S-Sorry sa nangyari sa lola mo."

Suminghal siyang muli at laking gulat ko nang bigla na lamang umigkas ang kanyang kamao patungo sa akin. Buong akala ko'y tatama ang kanyang kamao sa mukha ko, pero nagulat ako nang dumiretso ito sa kuwelyo ng damit na suot ko. Hinatak niya ako palapit kaya halos matumba ako sa sahig.

Ito ang unang beses na may kumuwelyo sa akin. Sa lakas ng pagkakahawak niya sa damit ko, sumikip ito sa dibdib ko kahit pa oversized ito na t-shirt. Ramdam ko ang panginginig ng malamig niyang mga kamay dahil sa matinding galit.

"Kung hindi ka lang babae, nasapak na kita." He grunted, almost like a wild animal.

This is the only time I'm thankful for the double standards between men and women. But hey, no to violence among all genders!

Binitiwan niya ako nang marahas at patulak kaya muntikan ulit akong matumba, kung hindi lang ako nakabalanse sa sarili ko.

My heart felt like it was about to explode, but at the same time, I was relieved that he didn't punch me. 

Hindi ko alam kung magpapasalamat ba ako sa kanya o hihingi ng tawad. Frankly speaking, I wanted to change the topic too kasi baka masapak na niya talaga ako. 

With my nerves still unsettled, I did the first thing that I could think of—head for the flashlight and see what was inside the room. 

"Saan ka pupunta?" Ramdam ko pa rin ang galit sa baritono niyang boses.

"Diyan ka lang. May titingnan lang ako." Isang milagrong nagawa ko pang makapagsalita nang buo.

I quickened my pace because I thought walking slowly would only make me feel more nervous. In my mind, the sooner I would see what was inside the room, the sooner my curiosity would end.

However, as I stepped inside the room and picked up the flashlight from the floor, it felt like my entire body shut down.

I could see every horrible detail in the room, but it felt like the entire world went still and silent. I couldn't hear the beating of my own heart . . . and I almost couldn't even hear my own thoughts.

In that exact moment, I felt numb.

"Anong meron?"

Bogart's voice somehow rescued me from the pits of my own mind, but it was too late. It was too late for me to stop him from seeing the slaughter that no person should ever lay their eyes on.