Bestial Planet

Chapter 10 : Controlling Instinct

"When the intelligent and animal souls are held together in one embrace, they can be kept from separating." – Lao Zi

I had tried so many times before, so when I finally woke up it was like a dream. I saw the brightness of the sun through my closed eyelids and I felt a light rainfall on my body. Was I dreaming again? I wished I was.

"Hey, are you up?"

She didn't answer which was a surprise. My mind was scrambled, I wasn't sure if I was awake.

"Well since this is a dream I should be able to open my eyes." I do just that, and a forest spreads out before them. They were straining against the bright sunlight washing over the valley. After they adjusted I tried to stand up but couldn't. I felt the wind blowing across my face, the warmth of the sun slathered over my body was juxtaposed by the light rain on my nose. It smelled like a spring or summer morning with a refreshingly cool mist.

"This definitely has to be a dream, it's almost November."

The way everything looked and felt was dreamlike-I knew deep down that it wasn't. A dream has a way of giving itself away; either the writing is weird, people speak funny or it's the white edges on your vision. The smell of the plants and the feeling of drizzling rain made me think twice though. Why was I lying on the ground, surrounded by forest and what was left of a house? Where was my car? Where's the woman? I wanted it to be a dream.

I decided to take things slow and not do what I normally do in beautiful looking dreams; over-think, then analyze everything and wake myself up... if I was indeed dreaming this time. I hoped I was dreaming. That thing came screaming out of the sky covered in fire, like a demon's talon stretching out to rend the planet.

"Slow and steady. One thing at time man. Learn your surroundings, find out what's broken and what still works." I thought to myself, struggling to push all others from my mind. I tried standing again to no avail. Then I tried the next best thing.

"Babies learn to crawl before they walk." So I try that. It felt funny but it worked and that's all I needed. Looking over to my left, a valley spreads out before me. I remember thinking about a park I went to as a kid. We had just gotten there and it started raining while the sun was directly above us, sorta like it was now.

"Oh shit I'm dead!" My mind was racing between wanting to believe this was a dream, coping with strange sensations from my body and genuinely thinking I was dead. Confusion incarnate.

I tried to stand up again with a little more gusto but my body felt weird. It felt different. Knees, elbows, hands and feet; they didn't work like I expected them to. Bending when I straightened, straightening when I bent. I fall back down onto my stomach after barely getting on my hands and knees and tried to remember the last thing I saw before now. Everything started getting hazy and I couldn't get my bearings.

"Ok, Ok think... last thing I saw was... street... windshield, steering wheel, RX7! I was in the RX7... driving. Then there was a bright flash of light and... the comet hit and my car was flipped over by the shock-wave..."

Then I remembered my friends screaming and how horrible it sounded. I tried to yell for them but - I couldn't remember their names or their faces. In my mind there were only echoes of their voices rattling around. I fought against my body, angrily this time, trying to at least get to a crawling position. I tried to yell "Help", but it was like I was trying to speak for the first time. My throat felt sore and dry, only a garbled noise left my mouth. My coughing didn't even sound the same.

I fell back down and an anger welled. I closed my eyes in an attempt to calm down. I see and feel the sun's brightness and warmth through my eyelids. "This is definitely not a dream." I started scratching at an itch on the back of my head, eyes still closed.