The Path To You

21. Make it up to you

"I was just trying to help you Connor, all I've ever wanted was to see you get the help you need. I didn't deserve any of it." 

"I know, trust me I know that."

"There's nothing you can say to me right now that will change everything, I can't trust your words anymore."

I had known that. I knew that nothing I said meant anything to him anymore. They meant nothing to anyone else either. I'd watched as everyone gave up, as everyone stopped believing the words that came out of my mouth.

"I'm going to rehab. I'm going to get clean and then I'm going to make it all up to you. I'll save all my apologies for when you'll actually believe them." I confessed.

That had been the one thing I could do. I couldn't keep saying things, I needed to take action. I needed to prove that I was serious this time.

"What? I- When-?" Jetson just stammered with a shocked look on his face.

"I need to do this and Nico helped me get it all set up. I can't keep making promises without doing anything to keep them. I told you I wanted to try and be better for you and rehab is the only way I can do that."

"You're actually going?" I could tell he still had his doubts.

I really didn't blame him. It'd taken a lot to get myself here. I had been terrified at what it meant to be sober. To let all the thoughts run free without anything to chase them away. I hadn't had any faith in myself but being without Jetson made me realize I couldn't live my life without him in it.

"I leave in the morning." I nodded.

I'd waited until the last second to tell him. I didn't want to leave any room for me to fuck it up. I couldn't tell him and get his hopes up if it wasn't a sure thing.

"Connor I'm so proud of you." His face broke out into a smile and these last weeks without him had all been worth it just to see that.

I'd made him smile. I was the reason Jetson was happy and it was the best feeling in the whole world.

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without you Jet Plane."

"You don't give yourself enough credit."

Loving Jetson had been the easiest thing I'd ever done. He'd made it easy by standing by me and believing in me even when I gave him no reason to. Jetson who was kind and patient and saw me for exactly who I was and never looked away.

I'd loved him from the moment I saw him.

"Maybe not." I shrugged.

"How long are you leaving for?"

"It's a thirty day program."

Nico had helped me find the right program and get a spot. He'd done most of the work but that was mainly because he steamrolled the whole thing because he didn't trust me to get it done.

"I'm going to miss you," His face twisted.

"It's only a month." I reminded him.

"But you're birthday." His eyes widened.

I didn't care that much about my birthday but apparently Jetson was slightly distressed about the fact I was going to be in rehab for it.

"Celebrate it for me?" I asked.

"Connor I don't-,"

"Promise me, I want you to have all the fun I can't."

I couldn't help myself I stepped towards Jetson needing to be closer to him. I closed as much distance as I could until I was standing right in front of him. I raised my hand up and cupped his cheek.

"I'm really happy you're doing this." I could see the joy and relief on his face.

"You're my favorite person in the whole world and I need you to know that no matter what that won't change. You've got me no matter what."

"Connor-,"

"I need to say this." I cut him off, I couldn't hold it all back anymore.

I didn't know what would happen in the next month or even after that. I couldn't walk away with any regrets.

"I can't ask you to wait for me, I won't ask you that, but I hope you know that I will love you either way. I will love you every day until I die even if I never get to know what it's like to actually have you."

I needed Jetson to hear how much I cared about him. After all the things I said to him, I needed to finally tell him the truth. I could take the risk and bare my soul at least once.

"Connor I-," Jetson gaped at me at a loss for words.

"You don't need to say anything, I just needed to tell you I loved you at least once."

I could see tears pooling in his eyes as the emotion rushed over him. I didn't know what I expected from Jetson but when he leaned forward and his lips pressed against mine gently I felt myself slip into what I could only describe as heaven.

I tightened my grip on Jetson and pulled him towards me as our lips moved slowly against each other. I didn't need Jet to say anything as long as I had this. I needed nothing else for the rest of my life. All I needed was this kiss, this moment.

I'd never forget the way Jetson's lips fit perfectly against mine.

We detached too quickly and I wanted to chase after his lips with my own but I knew it was for the best. I needed to get sober. We couldn't do this before then.

"You're my favorite person too." I could hear all the words left unsaid, I didn't need him to say the words to know they were true.

"I'm going to miss the hell out of you." I smiled.

"Not as much as I'm going to miss you."

Damn he was cheesy but I loved every second of it.

"You better not have too much fun without me." I glared playfully at him squeezing his hand with mine trying to put all the words I had into one gesture.

"I don't think I could even if I tried."

God I was going to miss him like crazy but doing this would be worth it. Returning to Jetson fully sober was worth all the pain and misery I would go through to get there.

It was time to finally take my life back.

A/n:

A happy chapter? What?! I didn't know I could write those.

Honestly I've been struggling lately with finding any motivation to do anything, including writing. I was sick for awhile and my mental health has been struggling. I'm really trying my best, I sat down and wrote some stuff last night but I'm really not trying to rush anything. I really don't want to have to go back to once a week updates but if my mental health stays being shit then I might need to.

Thank you for all the continued love on this story, it does help me seeing all of you guys enjoying what I put out.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
-Cora Leigh