A Cross, A Hearse, A Knife

The Hearse

Just as his 6:30 AM alarm goes off, Eli's hand comes slamming down on top of it; rings and all. He groans and rolls over on his newly clean bed, thanks to one Clare Edwards. After stretching, he grabbed his lock box and crept out to the bathroom.

"Time to make the donuts," he smirked. He unlocked the box and got his needles and syringe ready. As he put the injection needle on, his phone vibrated.

"Good morning! Can't wait 2 see U 2day! :^)"

He smiled. It's been a long time since he had someone text him Good Morning's and Good Night's, and it's not something he thought he would ever get again. Feeling renewed after he and Clare's conversation two nights before, he finished his shot and got ready to head to school.

Even though he could drive, Clare's parents preferred that she ride the bus or her bike instead of being driven. Mostly, it's because he drove hearse. Bible thumpers don't tend to like that sort of thing, he thought. But he liked it just fine.

He pulled up to find Clare waiting for him by his usual parking spot, a big smile on her face as usual. Before he could even get out of the car, she was right next to him.

"Hey Clarebear," he leaned up to kiss her cheek as he pulled his book bag out of the car. She took his hand and they walked in together. Since their talk, nothing really changed between them. Eli was honestly worried that she would treat him differently once she found out about his secret, but it's like it never even happened in the best way. He smirked and leaned closer to her.

"I guess there's no secret anymore, so you can see this bod in all it's shirtless glory the next time you stay the night." He joked. Clare blushed hard and softly slapped his hand.

"Eli, that's cheeky!" She squealed out an embarrassed giggle. He laughed again.

"You know, for someone that wrote such raunchy fan fiction, you would think you'd be all over that type of thing." He purred, leaning down even closer to her ear as they walked. She giggled again and squirmed away, still holding his hand.

"ELI! Enough!" Her wild laughs made him smile even harder.

"Okay, okay. You can't blame a man for trying, right?"

Clare rolled her eyes and spun around for a kiss before they headed in to the classroom.

The teacher droned on about predicates and adjectives, leaving both of their mind's to wander to other things. Clare was silently thinking about everything Fitz had said a few nights prior. His dad hurting him, feeling confused about his feelings, and most shockingly, being jealous of Eli in more ways than one. What on earth could he be so confused about?

For Eli, the thought process was a little more involved. And Fitz was not involved in any of it. Sure, he doesn't MIND waiting until marriage; but, if he had to choose, he would rather not. Clare is worth it, more than. But he'd be lying if he said that his secret getting out didn't take a lot of pressure off the thought for him.

40 minutes passed, the bell was about to ring, and Eli was silently cheering himself on for dating the type of woman to take detailed notes. If it weren't for Clare, he probably wouldn't even graduate in a few months with everyone else. Not that there weren't plenty of other reasons to be with her, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With the school day ending, the couple hooked arms as they walked out of the building with Adam, joking about their days. The smiles and laughs came to a stark halt when they were met by Fitz at the bottom of the steps.

"I'm gonna..... go. I'm happy that you support Eli and I, Clare. Let's get together soon, okay?" Adam slipped away, waving goodbye as he got out of dodge. Clare and Eli looked at each other nervously before stepping towards him.

"Fitz. You're the gift that keeps on giving," Eli scoffed, "just like herpes..." He mumbled and rolled his eyes. Fitz shifted back and forth on his feet anxiously.

"Clare, c-could I speak with Eli? Alone?" He asked. Clare and Eli met gazes again, Eli's eyes pleading for her to say no. Instead, she nodded, giving an apologetic expression to the two as she walked away. Adam was still somewhat nearby, so she caught up with him. It was at least a good chance to give him the scoop on what had been happening.

Eli crossed his arms, looking around dismissively. Fitz motioned with his head to follow him, which Eli very begrudgingly did.

"What, pray tell, could you possibly have to say to me that you can't say in front of Clare? My girlfriend?" He did his best to sound as cruel as possible; but whether that was for protection or actual cruelty, he wasn't really sure. The taller boy kicked at the gravel as they walked and came to a stop some way away from the school. Close enough that Eli wasn't concerned about another murder attempt, but far enough that he was questioning the intentions of their talk.

"Eli... I don't really know how to say this, honestly." Fitz rubbed his face.

"I... thought a lot. After what I said the other night, at Clare's. I know I shouldn't have been there, and I said some things I regret to her. About you. I said you're a bad person. But I don't think that. I think you're really great, but hurt. I mean, just like all the rest of us I guess. But what I'm really trying to say is that I like you. And you know, I think maybe... I think maybe in the way you said." Eli could tell it was hard for Fitz to say any of this, and couldn't help but soften a little as he spoke.

"Well, when I said that last night, it was pretty closed minded of me. Especially given... my circumstances." He slowly let his arms down and leaned a shoulder against the building's rear wall. Fitz looked up at him questioningly.

"Your situation?"

"I'm not what you think, Fitz." Eli started to feel like the world was closing in around him with each word he spoke. If this was going where he thought it was going, he's in trouble no matter what. This is how people get assaulted, be it sexually or painfully. Or even worse, both. He was sweating and could feel himself trembling when he noticed a large, warm hand coming for his free shoulder and gently holding it. He looked at Fitz' hand but didn't move.

"You can tell me. Whatever you might think my intentions are, I promise you it's not dangerous. I'm not hear to hurt you, Eli. And I know I'm causing problems between you and Clare, but I can't help how I feel. It's not just about her." Fitz gave a caring smile.

"I don't know why I'm saying this to you. I'm not like you. I don't have the same parts."

Fitz smiled slightly wider.

"Your like Adam. I'm sorry, I don't mean that in a bad way. I just don't know what that's called. I have to apologize to Adam, too. I've treated him really poorly in the past. He can't help that his feelings go against God's plan."

Eli scoffed and shook Fitz' hand off.

"See? This is why I don't tell people. Look, I don't need Jesus to save me, Fitz. The only thing he's done for me is keep me up at night by way of Clare wanting to wait til marriage. Trust me, you try shooting testosterone straight down the pipeline. Blue balls doesn't even BEGIN to describe it." He shook his head and started to turn around. Fitz looked scared, like he didn't know what to do.

"N-no! Eli, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Please just talk to me. Teach me! If I don't know, if I'm wrong, tell me! How can I be better if I can't talk to anyone?!" He pleaded. Eli kept slowly walking, shaking his head.

"It shouldn't be my job to teach you how to be a decent person. What did you even want me back here for? To bully me like you did Adam? I don't get you. What was the point?" As the last words left Eli's lips, Fitz had already grabbed his shirt and spun him around, grabbing both his arms. Before Eli had a chance to get away, Fitz kissed him. He was so shocked that he didn't react. In the moment, he couldn't even tell if he kissed back. Did he...? What is wrong with him if he did kiss back? He snapped back to reality and pulled back from Fitz.

"Wh-what the fuck....?" They stared at each other unblinkingly. Fitz' face was beet red. He panicked and let go of Eli, stepping back and almost tripping over a loose brick.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I- you asked, and all I could think about was... Well, that." Fitz stammered. Just as fast as the kiss happened, Fitz turned around and took off. Eli stood there, stunned and in almost a stupor. What the hell was he going to tell Clare?