Carn Mo'r

Chapter 19

Saturday at last, tonight I would be able to hold her in my arms, smell her sweet scent and see the glow in her eyes, but there was something concerning me greatly. I found the Doctor on the phone again. He'd spent great lengths of time on it lately. I wondered about for a bit before he'd finished.

I managed to engage him in idle conversation for a while before broaching the subject upper most in my mind.

'Tell me a little about American protocol, Doctor.'

'I'm sorry Alasdair, I don't understand.'

'Umm, for the dance tonight, do we have to ask your permission before asking Robyn for a dance? I know in some places it's improper to ask a young lady to dance if she's engaged or has a beau.'

I must admit it sounded pretty lame even to me but the Doctor was very understanding and played the game, even though he could see right through me and was more than amused.

'We are Americans Alasdair. Even if she did have a beau or was engaged, which I can assure you she isn't; it would be entirely up to her who she danced with. As a matter of fact Robyn has only ever had one beau that I'm aware of. They were childhood sweethearts. He left to join the Marines when she was 16 and never returned, being killed in the Pacific in 1945.'

'I'm sorry to hear that.'

'It is sad, but so many were lost as you well know. Soon afterwards her mother took seriously ill. Robyn stayed at home to nurse her. She was devoted. As far as I know she's never even seen another man.'

'Thank you for that Doctor.'

I beat a hasty retreat, elated. My mind also toyed with a few interesting theories.

I met John in the practice room. He was stripped to the waist swinging his claymore above his head.

'My, John, you do look fearsome this fine day,' I laughed.

Grinning he reached for the other sword. 'Let's see how long you keep that smile on your face.'

I shrugged my shirt off and deftly caught the tossed sword. He gave me no room for pause. We were both evenly matched even though I was the taller. He came in with a cry that shook the rafters. Our swords clashed, ringing with rage at this brutal assault. We surged back and forth across the floor laughing and cursing. Sweat soon lathered our muscular physiques.

A scream stopped our battle dead. I just managed to avoid a lunge from John and turned to find Robyn standing in the doorway. My good mood evaporated. Her horror-filled eyes were fixed on my back.

Anger, bitterness, resentment swept through me. I had become so used to it and so had those who surrounded me. I'd never given a second thought to revealing the permanent disfigurement that was my back.

I handed my sword to John, picked up my shirt and left. I wanted to hide, I had to; but even that magic circle of stones couldn't work their strange comfort this day. How could I have been so stupid to believe that any woman but a paid whore could even bear to look upon my naked form?

Even Kitty had been sick the first time she had cast eyes upon me after the war. My skin had done a lot of healing since then, but it was still discoloured in places and scar tissue ran across it like weal's from a whip.

John found me. 'You can't stay out here all day Alasdair.'

'Why now John, why does it matter so much to me now?' But he had no more an answer to the question than I. We walked back home slowly, each deep in our own thoughts.

Robyn found me back in my study. 'I'm sorry for screaming. I thought you were really fighting. I could have caused one of you an injury'

I saw the lie for what it was. 'Let's not pretend Robyn; it's not something you're good at. I'm sorry you saw it and that it disturbed you so. It's something I've had to come to terms with and the people I live with. I'm not ashamed of the wounds I received during the war, neither am I proud of them, but I don't hide them.