You know what happens after?" I kissed her neck and a shuddering breath left her lungs. I wanted her since the moment I laid eyes on her soft features. I wanted to feel her underneath my body,hear her soft sounds.
I wanted to tell her to leave. Leav...
"I'll admit" I looked at the man in front of me. Usually I stare down people when trying to intimidate them....but this time..the man's eyes filled with stupid pity.
"Do you blame yourself, Ajax?" Thomas, the only person that understood me and not treated me like a crazy man which ironic as it is, I am one.
He leaned in,elbows on his knees and his hands under his chin,trying to study me.
In the mental hospital,he was the therapist. The third one in a few months after they have made the mistake of trying to get into my sick and twisted mind.
I never really got why people were scared of being in the same room with me. I always sat on a chiar,hands tied behind my back and feet strapped down.
Never in your life say that a person is mentally normal just because they seem like it.
"What?" My breath even, I shifted my body in the chair,hands gripping the armrest.
Around the therapist,to make patients feel better,they were untied and sat in a chair,6 feet away from the doctor with guards on both sides of him
Looking around the room, I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair. The pale blue uniform tightening on my muscles that I build in here.
"I don't know what you are talking about" I leaned on my knees, making my small white with blue-grayish dots swish
"Do not act dumb" He leaned back in his chair, putting his glasses on his nose, taking a sip from his coffee. "It is quite normal for patients....like you....to feel some kind of....guilt"
I sighed and played with my eyebrow piercing for a few minutes thinking of an answer.
I never felt guilt. I once in a blue moon even use the word. Why should I feel guilty for something I couldn't control? Why should I feel guilty for something I don't want to?
"I do not" I whispered. "I do not feel guilty for what I've done and what I have became"
"Ajax...." My name rolled easily on his tongue. "This is your last day, son"
"It is? Wasn't I due for another two years?" I raised my eyebrow.
"The director sends every month some files of the most dangerous people in this hospital to the government. You being one of them, they saw you acting good and decided to release you earlier"
My heart tightened from the shock.
"I don't know what to say, Tom..."
"You do not need to say anything" he got up from his chair, making it creak. "You should only thank God"
"You know I am an atheist" I breathed and looked up at him.
"It is never too late to change..." He grabbed the golden knob and opened the small dark brown door with a creak. "I hope the next time we see each other, it will be at a bar, you being healthy and happy"
He excluded the posibllity of 'finding someone'. He knew I wouldn't be capable of finding someone to love me. I knew I wasn't capable of finding someone.
I remained silent, drowning in my thoughts as Thomas left the small room.
When I got in here at the age of only twenty-eight, I counted the days until I will get out of there. Exactly five years ago I entered this room, scared of this place.
But now, I will get out of here, start a new life and hopefully never come back here again...
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"Forty-five male, the name is Hugh Jackson. Several stab wounds and head trauma. Emergency room number 4." I said to the doctor while I, other two nurses, and the wife of the patient ran with the stretcher to ER.
I let the other nurses to the ER and I held the patient's wife back. She sobbed into my shoulder and I sighed.
"Everything is going to be fine" I put my hands on her shoulders, pushing her back so she could look at me.
"I should have never let his friend enter my house" she cried.
"It was not your fault...you could have never known what would happen if you let him in"
After a couple of minutes of sobbing, I let her sit on a bench and I walked over to the reception.
"ER 4" I said to Gloria who quickly tapped the buttons on her keyboard.
"Patient is in stable condition," She said.
"Make sure the police speak to the wife the first thing they do when getting in here"
"Yes ma'am"
I sighed and shoved my fingers in the chocolate bangs that framed my face. I walked to the locker rooms.
I was so thankful that my shift finally ended. I stepped into a small cabin and changed from my uniform which was covered in sweat, medicine, blood, and other things. I sprayed on some deodorant and left the cabin, throwing my backpack on my back.
I soon turned the engine of my car on and went home after buying two bottles of wine. I drank half of one of them then I fell asleep, my television still running.
