Celebrity Couple | Jakehoon

20. Evee

<The Evolution of the smart ring>

I: So I want the dirt on your proposal? SH: <what the f* is she talking about?> That's always tricky. JK: <looks at Hoon, business or marriage?> We couldn't agree on the Evee model, features, customization and upgrade from singles to a couple. Health is the most important next to food. SH: I thought love was <and hot sex, they better not delete this>? I: Isn't it individualized? SH: <looks over> The sex? 

JK: Gender was abolished a few years back. You could identify as a guy who tracks his menstrual, pregnancy, or menopause. SH: Right, I mean if I wanted hot pink it should be a color option for me. But don't get me wrong, that's not the color I like. <nods> I like indigo or is it zinzolin? Or maybe it's white to signify purity like snow or prince charming. 

JK: <giggles> Anyway, although it started as women's health, it became the proposal rings for both parties, replacing diamonds which signified vanity. I: That's easy for you guys to say, when you're gorgeous. Insecure women need to be adorned with brand names and diamonds to feed their vanity aka self-worth. SH: Shouldn't that be from their career and accomplishments? JK: Don't get me wrong, we like that stuff, but character and moderation should prevail. SH: And when you get it for free. I: Who's getting what for free? SH: I lost track. JK: I think he meant from product endorsements. SH: No, I think I was referring to self-worth.

JK: Wasn't their pre-order sales crazee on amazon? I: How crazy? SH: Like they were a rock-star crazee? JK: It was like a new iphone version, but medical grade? SH: And they kept adding new features partnering with fitness apps, insulin/bp tracker, every year like an iphone before it was integrated with iphone technology and replaced the handheld device.

I: Wait, didn't the US illegally tracked immigrant they kept in cages, separated family, kids and forced birth in TX during the Trump era? JK: <Did we just get filtered, why did she change the subject? Spiritual stuff, oracle s*, spoiler alert? Should I buy more stock? Wait, what timeline am I on again or is that dimension?> SH: You mean they manually tracked menstrual cycles of girls on excel to force birth because of the overturned anti-abortion policies at the time? JK: How do you know about this? SH: I get my world history education and news through tiktok and wattpad? I: Wait you're not referring to your novels? SH: Why not? I'm learning as I go along. 

JK: Anyway, forced pregnancy is a human rights violation and a crime against humanity under Amnesty International. SH: <D* it JK. Why do you always get the big brain lines> JK: <Because they measure our cortexes, and I win in this department.>

SH: Isn't this a goldmine? I: How so? SH: If you know the menstrual cycle, you know when to have sex without getting her prego, or her lying to you pretending to be, to trap you like a venus fly trap? I: Doesn't it render the condom obsolete? And how desperate are you to trap a man like that? And don't you need condoms for other reasons, like STD? 

JK: STD was cured and abolish already. Viruses are smarter these days, they can enter your body in multiple ways, not just sexually. You need an oxygen tank and an impenetrable condom body suit to make out these days. <everyone laughing>

I: Where was I, oh yeah, I meant what do you want on your couple's ring, it doesn't need to match, right?

SH: Mine is loaded with lots of bling. JK: <looks over, thinking DIVA with muscles> I have a more simpler taste and loaded. When we're together, the color matches automatically. SH: It has some type of mystical power from the material that heightened your smell and hormone with each other. JK: I thought we were going with my input with the company in developing the AI algorithm to create the pairing from the spike in hormonal attraction. SH: <like when I'm horny?>  But how do you measure soul attraction? JK: It's a proprietary secret. <from ETs>