BLACK BRIDE | Aemond Targaryen

34.

It was alright to be weak.

It was fine to be frightened, scared, angry and everything in-between.

No one would hear of it and dusk would wash away the sorrows of the night and let her start anew, or so she hoped.

Rhaenye had not wanted to bond with baby at first, not wanted to love or feel anything in particular for it.

But love was not a feeling she could control, would it not have been easier if it had been?

If she had not learned to love the baby so damned much.

Bunching up her hands into fists, clutching the fabric of the white nightgown, Rhaenys spoke to baby ' I try, I try so hard to picture your face, or your existence but it all turns to a smoky haze. Were we doomed from the start? It seems like it. Will we ever meet? '

The last part was asked in a bare whisper, as if she was afraid speaking the question loudly would make it all too real.

The flames offered her no solace.

They danced their dance of life and death, equal parts light and dark.

The baby, for all the worry it was making her feel made no response.

But Rhaenys would have liked to think it was listening, even though it was inept.

' In the time of your choosing, when you inevitably decide to arrive, you must know that I will have loved you for all of your precious life. Even if I will not be there to greet you. Even if you do not ever get the chance to know me. Know that I wanted you so very bad that I set my life ablaze for that want ' Rhaenys faltered, thoughts drifting off into a pondering of her own.

~

From the moment Alicent Targaryen had opened her eyes this morning, she had been wide awake.

The entire morning she had been unable to do anything but get dressed, feel uncomfortable, get undressed again, and put on another dress until she had worn every single one of her dresses at least two or three times.

Alicent had been so nervous that she just hadn't been happy with any of her dresses. Too closed, too revealing, too elegant, too plain, the wrong color, the wrong fabric... Finally she had chosen her dress of black and green silk. It was simple, but it was by far her favorite.

Last night, after dinner father had let them both know that they would meet in morning, father,mother, Aemon and she herself, to talk about an important topic.

There could only be one topic that was so important and for which they needed to be four.

Their betrothal.

She looked to the side, to her Aemon sitting next to her in his cushioned chair, excitedly playing around with a thread that had come loose from the embroidered dragon on his chest.

She knew that Aemon had not even managed to have a proper breakfast because of his excitement.

In a strange way, it comforted Alicent to know that Aemon was just as nervous as she was.

Aemon looked at her as well, forcing a smile onto his face. He took her hand and squeezed it gently, bringing it to his lips and giving her a soft kiss on her knuckles.

Alicent forced a smile onto her face as well, but feared it hardly looked more genuine than her half brother's.

' It doesn't look good, does it? ' Aemon finally asked in a whisper. ' I mean, if father had wanted to have us wed, he could have done it a long time ago already. '