Following Our Own Script

Chapter One

"You know?" Heimdall sat up. "I know exactly who the All-Father was. I followed his every order. I was his prized child. Any version of him I accepted. His sins were my sins. Don't act like any time you had with him meant anything."

"So you do miss him?"

Heimdall threw their empty supply sack at Loki. The boat, small as it was, rocked an uncomfortable amount at his motion. He sighed. It was useless unless they both wanted to go overboard. Heimdall didn't feel like wasting his strength conjuring up an arm just to swim until he was slowly taken by the sea.

"Miss isn't the word. It's more adult than that, you wouldn't understand."

"I'm an adult."

"By mortal standards, yes. By God and even Giant, you are an infant."

"Fine, I'm a baby. You can still talk about it, you know."

Heimdall snapped. "What I know is you love to talk. I know you love to prod. I know you want to always end up being the hero, the one who gives everyone the choice to do the right thing. Oh, look at me, Loki, bringer of Ragnarok, feeling all so sad after I extended a hand and had it slapped away. Guess I tried my very best. Let's burn it all down."

Loki pulled into himself. "Forget I asked."

"No, I don't think I will." Heimdall leaned back, resting his arm behind himself. "This whole time, you've acted like we suddenly became friends just because you spared my life. You kept me imprisoned in Frigg's magic until you showed me, what was it, the error of my ways? Showed me how little the All-Father cared for anyone but himself?"

And you accepted it, Loki wanted to say. You did do the right thing. You understood his reasons for what he was doing were wrong!

"Why did you need to start Ragnarok?"

Loki peered over his shoulder. They had had this conversation before. It seemed like every few days parts of it would come back up. Loki opened his mouth to spew the usual bullshit of stopping Odin, but Heimdall cut him off.

"Not ending the All-Father. You've preached to me enough. I'm talking about, why did you need a full on war? Gjallarhorn wasn't your only option to get into Asgard."

Loki turned fully to Heimdall. His mind raced for what he was talking about. Heimdall realized he honestly didn't know.

"The dog. You tamed Garm. Did whatever Giant magic it is you do."

Loki still hadn't connected the pieces.
Heimdall sighed. "Oh honestly. The beast that tears holes in reality? The one that was literally used to save all of you? Why didn't you use it to cut through to Asgard in the exact spot you left at?"

Loki's mouth hung half open. He started saying words and stopped.

"You seriously never considered it."

"Uh," Loki stuttered. "Well, we needed an army-"

"An army Thor dealt with in, what, seconds? Passing the wall was all you needed the army for. You'd been in my father's study. You knew exactly where you needed to go."

"Odin would have learned about it. We had Fenrir while he was still pretending to be Tyr." Loki was struggling to come up with a reason. His brain was racking any possibility of this working. Having to fight him and Thor at the same time, Thrud and Sif being right there, of everyone fighting right on top of each other.

"Was your original plan, before Brok died, not to use the mask to figure out a better future?"

"We had the mask for maybe fifteen minutes before Odin revealed himself. When he killed Brok, I don't think anyone's first thought stayed at 'how do we do this peacefully?"