You are my home

Monday, September 10, 2007

When I arrive at class I see Emma already sitting in her place. "How quickly you were gone." I say as I sit down next to her. "Oh yeah, I forgot something". I take a good look at her. "Em what's wrong with you? You're acting weird." She looks at me in shock. "Why am I acting weird?" I shrug. "Just you're not quite yourself". She sighs. " There is nothing". I put an arm over her shoulders. "If there is something, you will tell me, won't you?". She gives me a small nod. I can't go into it further because the lesson is starting. She seems somewhat absent for the rest of the lessons. I really don't know Emma like that. "Em I'm here for you if you want to talk about something". I say as soon as all our lessons are over. "I'm sorry I don't want to talk about it." I give her a hug. "You don't have to if you don't want to. As long as you know I'm here if you want me to." She gives me a smile. "Yes thank you I know. I need to figure it out for myself before I can talk about it. I'm sorry but I really have to go now". I nod understandingly. " I see you tomorrow".

I walk to the janitor closet. This morning I agreed with Valerie and her mother that I will at least continue to work until Rose goes to school in a few weeks. Valerie wasn't very happy to hear that, but she understood. In this way I also want to give her mother the chance to find someone else. I don't know what I'm going to do after that. I do know they have a point that it's going to be a tough school year. I also really want to be there for Rose when Valerie is still at work. I just can't quite accept that Valerie wants to take care of me financially. I still have a bit of money, but not that much anymore. I'm just afraid that the money might come between us. I never would have imagined that Valerie has so much money, not that I care at all. I just don't want her to think I'm going to take advantage of it. Fortunately, I still have some time to think about what I'm going to do.

"Lissa, Lissa". I haven't even opened the front door before a three-year-old enthusiastically runs towards me. Immediately my nerves disappeared. "Hey princess. I'm so happy to finally see you again." I say as soon as I lift Rose up in my arms. She has a big smile on her face. "Did you have a good time with daddy?". She nods. " I went to the beach". I walk towards the living room with her on my arm. "That's nice to hear. Oh hey that was faster than expected". I say when I see Anne sitting in the living room with Valerie, who gets a beautiful smile on her face when she looks at Rose and me. "I hadn't had time to look at the house before. I also wanted to see Rose again, but as soon as she knew you were coming she couldn't be beaten away from the window". Anne says laughing. "I'm sorry". I can't say more, because Rose is pulling my sweater. "Lissa coloring?". I look questioningly at Valerie. "I'll start cooking in half an hour. The coloring stuff is in the cupboard in the kitchen. Rose can point it out to you, but don't feel obligated. You've had a long day." I give her a smile. "You know I can't refuse your princess. I can finally spend time with someone of my own level." She shakes her head with a smile and I also see a smile on Anne's face. I go to the kitchen with Rose and am happy to spend some time with her again.

I'm busy coloring with Rose when Valerie comes into the kitchen after half an hour. She has a big smile on her face. She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around me. " How was your day?". she asks and kisses me on my temple. "Tiring, but your princess gives me new energy". That answer puts an even bigger smile on Valerie's face. "I will cook, then we can eat dinner. That will surely give you energy. Do you mind if Anne stays for dinner?". I shake my head. "Then I certainly have to be careful what I do and say". She gives me another kiss on my temple and lets go of me. "I think it is indeed better if she doesn't know too much yet. Let her get used to the idea of you living here first. But that will be soon. She is usually here on Monday and Wednesday evenings". I nod understandingly.

Valerie goes to the stove. I get up and let Rose coloring alone for a while. I sit on the counter next to the stove. "I tried to talk to Emma". Valerie looks at me. "You wouldn't interfere." I sigh. "Yes, I know that and that is really not my intention. She just wasn't herself after the lunch break. I just told her to talk to me if there's anything." Valerie kisses me on the cheek. "Did she say something?" I shake my head. "Only that she had to figure it out for herself before she could talk to me about it." Valerie nods in understanding. We can't talk about it any further because Anne enters the kitchen. " What is this? I now get a whole audience when cooking". Valerie asks with a laugh as Anne sits down next to me on the counter. "I have to see if I am still safe here. I can still remember times when you practically set the kitchen on fire." Anne says it with a big smile. Valerie throws a tea towel, which is next to her, at Anne. "That only happened once. I just accidentally turned the gas the wrong way." Anne comes down from the counter and walks towards Rose. "And you certainly don't remember that time when you forgot that you still had meat on the stove". I smile at Valerie, whose cheeks are getting redder. "Sounds like I should quickly get a fire extinguisher in the house". Valerie gently pats my arm. " That was a long time ago. Now I know what I'm doing or do you have something to complain about?". I shake my head. "Too bad, otherwise you could have done it yourself". She says as she looks at me with a sweet smile. We continue to talk like this until dinner is ready.

The four of us are sitting at the dining table. It's kind of weird sitting here with two teachers. Now I definitely don't see Valerie as a teacher here and I don't get lessons from Anne, but it's still weird. "Melissa, may I ask you why you needed shelter?". I'm a little shocked by the question. "An". I see Valerie looking angrily at Anne. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business." I give Anne a fake smile. "Let's just say that not all parents do their job properly". Valerie moves her face towards me. "You don't have to tell her anything." she whispers to me. I give her a small nod. " I know". I look at Anne again. "I'm glad you have a safe place here anyway." I give her a smile. " Me too. You don't want to know how grateful I am to Val for this". I notice that Valerie wants to put her hand on my leg, but changes her mind just in time. I look at her with a smile and then quickly focus on the food again. "Isn't it strange for you to live with your teacher?". I shake my head at Anne. "I don't really see Val as my teacher, but I have to admit that it feels a bit strange now to sit at the table with two teachers". I say shyly. Valerie and Anne can laugh about it. "I understand that, but don't worry about the work we do. As I said this afternoon, school is school and home is home. You really need to keep those two things separate. I taught my brother for a year. We never got those things mixed up. We could have the biggest fight at breakfast and an hour later he was in my class, but that didn't mean I treated him differently or let it play along. And vice versa, I never confronted him at home about anything that had to do with school or anything that had to be said to my parents. I already talked to Val about it. You really need to separate those two things or it could put you in situations you don't want. Of course it helps that you are already friends, so I assume you can already keep it separate". I nod. "I understand what you are saying and can only agree with you. It's good to hear and makes it a little less weird. I'll leave you two alone now. I'm going upstairs to do my homework and then go to sleep. Or should I help you with the dishes?" I ask Valerie. She shakes her head. "I will do that. You've already had a long day." I get up and walk to Rose to give her a kiss on the head. "See you tomorrow princess". I look at Valerie and Anne. " See you tomorrow ". I'll say them too and then go upstairs.

I'm just about to walk up the stairs when Valerie is next to me. "Did I forget something?". She nods with a smile on her face. "Sleep well Lis". she says after giving me a quick goodnight kiss. "Sleep well Val". I go upstairs with a wonderful feeling.