Mountain River Girl

Chapter 15: Places To Belong

“I told you before, but obviously I’ll have to say it again. I don’t need you to carry me. I’m more than capable of using my own two feet.” As appealing as it was, the thought of hopping on Kieran’s back and not having to walk all the way to Don’s place, I knew it would do me no good. The physical contact would leave me too tempted to throw away all reason, and I would just end up giving in to the crazy attraction I felt towards Kieran. An attraction that defied all logic. I came so close to caving when we nearly kissed, but as soon as we started walking, I had made sure to keep a certain distance between our bodies. I couldn’t let it happen again. I wouldn’t let it happen again. Not before I was able to think with a clear head, sorted out things with Trudy, found an explanation for what happened at Don’s place – basically, I didn’t want anything to happen until I regained control over my life again. Most importantly, I would have to find a way to believe the unbelievable or else I would go insane. For good measure, I added, “After all, I brought this on myself.”

“What are you staring at?” Kieran wanted to know as he suddenly glanced my way, making me stagger.

“W-What?”

“You were staring.”

I straightened my shoulders and turned my focus to the trees in front of , picking up the pace a little. “I was not!” Liar, I thought to myself. I had most definitely been staring at Kieran, but I was not about to admit that to him. What had started out as an innocent glance in his direction to try and comprehend how he had gone from wolf to human and back, swiftly transformed in a feast for my eyes. One minute, I was straining my mind to see how it was possible to be two species all at once, the next I found myself figuratively drooling over Kieran’s features. He was a piece of art worthy of my admiration. Was Kieran perfect in everyone’s books? Probably not, but he was in mine. Every aspect of him seemed to fit together, and it was impossible to pretend not to notice. What impressed me the most were not his emerald, sparkling eyes, or the way they stirred something deep inside me. It wasn’t how he stood tall compared to me, always towering at least a head over me. It had nothing to do with the fact that he needed a shave, but at the same time, he shouldn’t because the stubble looked good on him. Nor was it his strength or firm chest. The thing that left my heart beating faster was Kieran’s easy, casual, self-confident posture. It was the way the air changed when Kieran was around, the way he made me feel when he was near. Watching Kieran from up-close, or even from afar, always would make me look plain in comparison. I knew I didn’t posses the same confidence or care-free attitude. To phrase it in nothing less of a cliché, Kieran portrayed a nice, warm and sunny day, whereas I resembled more of a threatening storm front. I was an emotional mess, a conflicted person that didn’t know who she was, what she wanted, or where she belonged.

By the time we left the trees behind and finally found ourselves among the living again, I really regretted not taking Kieran up on his offer of carrying me on his back. My feet were killing me. Kieran announced we were only a good ten minutes away from Don’s place and that still felt like I would have to walk to the other side of the country.

“I need a break,” I breathed loudly as I dropped down on the sidewalk. Not caring that the pavement was harder than the grass that was only a few steps away from my spot, I lowered myself until I lay flat on the ground.

“But we’re almost there!” Kieran’s pep-talk would no longer work on me. For what felt like hours, he’d told me we were almost there. Each and every single time, I had taken his word for it, but not now. My body needed a few minutes of rest.

Wiping my forehead dry with my one hand while the other slumped down next to me, I shook my head. “No. More. Please.”

“Come on,” he offered me a hand. “Hop on my back and I’ll carry you to Don’s place.”